I just kind of… let go.
And life got better in a hurry.
A week ago I was so unhappy. So distraught. So, just… done.
What? That’s not me. I’m not like that. At all. Yet, there I was. Done.
Friends, have you ever been there? You know, to that place where…
You start word vomiting all over everyone and everything in your path?
And where you start getting overly-emotional at even the smallest of things?
And where you think your life is falling completely apart?
And you feel like all of your relationships are failing?
And nothing is working out how you want it to?
And the future is completely uncertain?
And nothing is going right. At all. Period.
Yes, that place. Loonyville. Crazytowne. Givemealobotomy City. That’s where I was one week ago.
And after I word vomited all over everyone in my life (including all of you)…
And after I had a little unexpected sob here and there and just about everywhere (including one time when I couldn’t get my dang key to slide into the deadbolt)…
And after everything got so out of control that I literally feared I might soon be homeless, and friendless, and familyless, and blog readerless, and sexless, and whoknowswhatelseless…
I realized something.
Things are what they are.
Life is what it is.
And it’s that simple.
Do you know what’s ridiculous? Like, over-the-top ridiculous?
I did all that to myself. The world didn’t do it to me, life didn’t do it to me, work didn’t do it to me, and other people certainly didn’t do it to me.
I simply had forgotten the one possibly most powerful life lesson that life has taught me again, and again, and again, and again.
The lesson that life is completely uncontrollable.
There I was, as recently as a week ago, and as long as two months ago, trying to boss life around. Go ahead. You may call me a chump.
“Hey Life! Just FYI, this is what will happen. I must have a place to live in this location, that fits this lifestyle, and fits this timeframe, and this budget. The people in my life must do this and this. My new apps must be this successful this quickly. This is how life was supposed to be, and this is how life will be. Got it? Good.
Except, as always, life wasn’t cooperating.
And after all the shit hit all the fans, and culminated in what I honestly think was one of the most out-of-mind emotional and mental bankruptcies for me just one week ago, I realized that it wasn’t so much that life wasn’t cooperating. Life was just life. No. It was that I wasn’t cooperating with it. Instead, I was trying to control life.
And after I realized that, I just kind of… let go.
And life got better in a hurry.
I let go of needing to find a certain type of house in a certain place because it just wasn’t happening. And you know what? The moment I did, another possibility I hadn’t even considered opened up, and sure my life would head in a different direction than planned, but it wasn’t a bad direction. Just a different direction. And I got excited. And stress lifted. And I became more sane the moment I let go of an idea that I couldn’t seem to make happen.
I won’t bore you all with more details about more things that happened after that. Just know that I began letting go of my attempts at controlling everything, and I got comfortable with the idea that things will simply be different, and I even got excited about the prospect of new adventures and opportunities because of all these different plans I was now making with gusto!
So, things didn’t go as planned, 100%. Who cares.
So, I need to downgrade a few parts of my lifestyle for a while as things take their course. Who cares.
So, I am not where I thought I’d end up next.
Who. The hell. Cares.
LIFE IS GOOD! So good, my friends. And though I’m still completely mentally exhausted, I am so much more emotionally healthy since just one week ago. I am happy. I am content. And I am exited.
And now I’m off to the Arizona Tough Mudder to get covered in mud, and scraped, and bruised, and to do it all with 40 or so of the greatest people on this planet. Next week, I’m betting I’ll have some pretty dang amazing stories to tell.
In the meantime, everyone have an AMAZING weekend! That’s an order.
And also, know that I love ya. Like, oodles and gobs. Your bazillion kind notes and thoughtful messages to me this past week have meant the world.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing