Awww.

Look how HAPPY and FUN and CLEAN and EXCITING moving is for the whole family!

Family moving house

Well… It is when you’re carrying empty boxes posing for stock photos, anyway.

THIS is probably closer to reality…

Man covered in cardboard boxes - moving concept

Just needs more boxes, many of which fell apart during the move; oh, and some blood smeared boxes, too. Oh, and scratched and dinged walls. Oh, and filthy foot-trafficked floors. Oh, and…

Anyway… There is the dictionary definition of “to downsize” and “to move,” and then there is my definition, after having just done it for a week straight.

DOWNSIZE
[doun-sahyz]
Verb

  1. To find a new place to live that is 40% the size of your current place, and then try and figure out how to cram 100% of all your crap into the new place. Also, realizing that most of what you have is now crap. Also, ultimately, getting rid of 60% of your crap.
  2. To move into a smaller place because for some reason you aren’t rich by now like you figured you’d be.
  3. To move into a smaller place because not only are you not rich as you hoped, but you actually are making so much less than you were. Also, to wonder when this finance train started moving in the wrong direction.
  4. To realize that life is livable and doable if you’ll just adjust your mode of operation and your idea of what you have to have to get by. See also (stop being spoiled brat). See also (be okay with 24 hour traffic zooming by outside your windows).
  5. To constantly mourn the loss of closets and cupboard space as you realize you have nowhere to cram your crap (see definition 1). Also, to discover new and exciting places to cram your crap, like under beds and on top of cupboards.
  6. To share more walls with more people than you’re used to sharing. Including young, wild, and frequent humpers.
  7. To wonder if you could have gotten laid at that age, if you would have also been such a wild and frequent humper. Also, to wonder how anyone can hump so frequently and still walk.
KEEP GOING, I KNOW I DID ON THE NEXT PAGE!
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!