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Here’s the truth about men and breasts. If a woman opens her bra and a pair of fantastic porn-quality boobs flops out (big or small, depending on the preference), a lot of men love it. Most men will love it. And men are allowed to love it. Porn quality breasts are amazing. There is nothing wrong with loving them when we encounter them. It’s an exhilarating experience for many of us on the rare occasion when we do experience them.
Here’s another truth about men and breasts. If a woman opens her bra and any other type of breasts flop out (which is most of the time), any size, and shape, and anything with two nipples attached, we love it. They are mysterious and wonderful and fun and beautiful to us no matter what they look like. And, it’s pretty much always an exhilarating experience for us. EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE BOOBS IN PORN.
And, here’s the truth about women and penises. If a man’s pants come off and a big fantastic porn-quality wiener flops out, a lot of women love it. Most women will love it. And they are allowed to love it. Porn quality penises are probably pretty fun and amazing. There is nothing wrong with loving them when they encounter them. It’s an exhilarating experience for many women on the rare occasion when they experience them.
Here’s another truth about women and penises. If a man opens his pants and any other type of penis flops out (which is most of the time), any size, shape, or anything else attached to a pair of tenders (as my son so calls a man’s testicles), women love it. Penises are mysterious and wonderful and fun and exciting to them (sorry fellas, usually they’re not classified as beautiful) no matter what they look like. And, it’s pretty much always an exhilarating experience for them. EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE WIENERS IN PORN.
Why? How? WHAT?!
Why are non-porn-quality boobs and non-porn-quality penises still fun, and exciting, and exhilarating? How is this possible in this day and age?
Because, my insecure friends, they are boobs and they are wieners! They are breasts!!!! They are penises!!!! They are awesome!!!! They’re fun to have touched, and they’re fun to touch. It’s always been that way, it always will be that way.
Why can’t we finally somehow understand that women obsess far more about their breasts than men ever will, and men obsess far more about their penises than women ever will?!
But more than that, breasts and penises are something else very important that we seem to have forgotten.
They are a special part of us. And they are gifts. They are gifts that each of us chooses to give to whomever we choose to share them with.
Part of the great insecurity that exists in this day and age is that we have lost sight of just what a gift those areas beneath our clothes really are. Instead, we treat those parts of our bodies like they are a public offering for the merciless judgments of others. We treat them like they are objects being laid side by side on tables at flea markets, compared next to all the other breasts and penises (and let’s be honest, vaginas too) of the world.
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