Facebook has been around for a long time now, and I’ve been thinking… It’s probably time we spice things up by turning the 7 days of every week into… THIS. You know. To keep things ridiculously interesting and entertaining for everyone.

#MeddleMonday is the new designated day for guessing what people are actually saying with their status updates. It’s the day for stirring pots and poking senstive areas when others post vague status updates letting the rest of the world know that their world is in shambles (or on the brink of it).

PROPER USE: Use #MeddleMonday to add spice and paranoia to the relationships of others. Use it to call out the drama queens. And definitely use it to start rumors where your unwarranted suspicions must certainly be right.

Example in action:
IMPROPER USE: I highly suggest that you do not ever use #MeddleMonday to call out the following people: bosses, mother-in-laws, people preparing your food, or your local town cop. You will get fired, divorced, your food spat in, and a frivolous traffic ticket. And while I can assure you that those are ALL fun roleplaying scenarios, they surprisingly aren’t fun in real life.
#ToughLoveTuesday is the new day designated to telling people the glaring and obvious truths that they refuse to face in their lives (as is evidenced by their self-unaware status updates).

PROPER USE: Use #ToughLoveTuesday to very strategically tell the people you love most just how much you’re not buying their victim stories or the life they present to the rest of the world on social media. The best part is, they can’t get mad at you for it because, hey… It’s #ToughLoveTuesday after all!

Example in action:
IMPROPER USE: I highly suggest never using #ToughLoveTuesday on people who can destroy your children’s future. Telling your child’s high school science teacher, for exmaple, that she chose the wrong career and is stupider than a box of bricks is best not done on Facebook, even on Tuesdays. Slip an anonymous note under her door instead.
Previous articleOkay, Give Me An Oscar. Here’s My First Dubsmash Compilation.
Next articleA Letter to Men: The Lesson of the Saggy Burrito in My Pants
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!