#WeedOutWednesday is the new day designated to cleaning out your friends list and then publicly declaring what a tool you are.

PROPER USE: Use #WeedOutWednesday to let your friends and family members know that they are always going to be walking on thin ice with you in the social networking world. Make them feel both special and worried at the same time. Work toward elitism. History has always shown good results with that.

Example in action:
IMPROPER USE: I highly suggest never using #WeedOutWednesday at a time when you have a brand new lover and your last lover is still on your friends list. Trust me. That’s just a statement you don’t want to make this early in the game. This is especially important if you have spent all sorts of energy telling your new lover how much you despise your past lover.
#ThinkFirstThursday is the new day designated to really call people out on status updates that they obviously didn’t think much about before posting them.

PROPER USE: Use #ThinkFirstThursday for misworded messages. Use it to turn even the most innocent posts into horrid perverted ones. Use it to remind people that some posts just don’t belong on Facebook, and that even a complete idiot with three seconds to think shouldn’t have posted what was just shared.

Example in action:
IMPROPER USE: The only real improper time to use #ThinkFirstThursday is if you yourself tend to get tagged with it a lot. Think about it (tough to do, I know). If you get endless #ThinkFirstThursday comments, it means that you are mentally inferior to… everyone. Just skip the new Thursdays on Facebook in general.
Previous articleOkay, Give Me An Oscar. Here’s My First Dubsmash Compilation.
Next articleA Letter to Men: The Lesson of the Saggy Burrito in My Pants
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!