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“Chin up, buttercup!”
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“Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”
23
“I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.”
24
“You’re definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
25
“Shut your mouth while you’re talking to me.”
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“I wish I could see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my own ass.”
27
“I know, right?!”
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“I’m a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios.”
29
“Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.”
30
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
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“Some people just need a high five. To the face. With a chair.”
32
“Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you.”
33
“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
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“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!”
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“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
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“You can’t fix stupid.”
37
“If I had a nickel for every time…”
38
“You’re 20 lbs of crazy in a 5 lb bag.”
39
“You’re about as useful as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.”
40
“Put that in your pipe and smoke it!”
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!