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“Let’s make like a baby and head out.”
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“If I had a normal day, the shock might kill me.”
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“Dumber than a box of rocks.”
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“This is about as stimulating as playing chess with a chimpanzee.”
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“Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
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“You’re as cool as the other side of the pillow.”
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“You’d be better off sticking your thumbs up your butt and walking on your elbows.”
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“Take a chill pill.”
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“I would if I could, but I can’t, so I won’t.”
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“You’re a special kind of stupid.”
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“It is what it is.”
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“Somebody call the whambulance!”
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“Easy peasy lemon squeezie.”
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“Lack of planning on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine.”
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“Like a bull in a china shop…”
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“What you talking about, Willis?!”
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“D’oh!”
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“Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.”
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“I’m off like a prom dress!”
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“You probably think you hung the moon, too.”

Awesomesauce.

Which is another word I wish I coined.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Tell me in the comments! What is your favorite saying? What didn’t make the list that should have?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!