She never accused me of lying, but she started asking probing questions which would have been sincere had I been telling the truth. I replied back with more lies to cover up the first lie. I couldn’t be a dad-time-skipper-outer AND a liar. Of course, the cover-up just made it worse and she asked another probing question in response.
I looked at my phone. I could keep the lie going. Or I could confess.
I knew the gig was up.
I was busted.
My bluff had been called.
How do I dig myself out of this? I shook my head, and texted back something like, “I’m sorry. I lied. Completely. I feel really stupid.”
What followed, showed what kind of class she had. She didn’t punish me. She let me explain my insecurity. She accepted my apology and assured me I could have just told her the truth. I laughed and told her she had a lie-sniffer like no other. And we moved on. It has never been brought up since.
Does that big, fat, bald-faced lie make me a dishonest person? Absolutely not. No more so than losing control and binge-eating four donuts in one sitting every year or so makes me a junk food addict.
Humaning is just hard sometimes.
I could have been punished for that lie. She could have held it above me or used it against me. She didn’t. She did what each of us should do anytime an honest person lies after an insecurity is poked hard in its belly. She understood. She accepted the apology. And she didn’t let a single weak moment from me drastically change her views of me and my integrity.
I learned a lot from her actions that day when it comes to dealing with those we love who truly are striving to be honest in everything they do. I think we all can learn a lesson from it. Don’t you?
The lie itself was not okay just because I seldom lie. But the forgiveness for a sincere apology was immediate because I’ve earned that over time. There is a massive difference, and that is something I have learned from her in all of this. I hope I always will offer the same to others.
So… With all that being said, I want to know if the most honest of you have the brass to admit that, even if extremely infrequently, you sometimes tell big, fat, bald-faced lies. I’m also wondering if you’ll admit that a life for anyone, completely free of lies, is actually a human impossibility.
It is only the people who can admit that, whom I will give the most trust.
I tend to trust much less the person who adamantly and publicly loves to declare that they are too honest to ever lie about anything. That may be the biggest lie of all.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing