Here at Single Dad Laughing, you know we’re all about being real, and being awesome, and letting ourselves be human. On SDL we have The Truth Box, where humans submit their anonymous secret battles. We have Weird Confessions, where real people anonymously divulge their greatest quirks and secret habits. We have Wrong Numbers where people anonymously reply to wrong-number texts from me, a complete stranger.

And then we have… This. Anonymous confessions from the workplace. These are the submissions I received when I randomly put up a form and asked all of you to submit your work secrets.

Some (to me) are hilarious. Some, mischievously inspiring. Others seem to cross a big line that makes me squirm and say: “Too far! Too far!” But… it’s not my place to judge. I’ll leave that to all of you in the voting boxes below!

Oh, and don’t forget to submit your own anonymous Workplace Confession at the end of the post.

30 ANONYMOUS WORKPLACE CONFESSIONS

  • Confession #1

    “I smoke ridiculous amounts of pot before work just to survive the people I work with. They always say I’m so calm about everything, well that’s because I have a little help.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 648
Not cool. SDL_ICON 362
Weird. SDL_ICON 130
1140 votes so far.
  • Confession #2

    “I put a ton of laxatives into a pot of chili that was in the fridge because I was sick of my boss eating my lunch every time he was too lazy to go get his own lunch.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 1029
Not cool. SDL_ICON 184
Weird. SDL_ICON 81
1294 votes so far.
  • Confession #3

    “After I slept with a germ freak at work, he started treating me like crap, disrespecting me, and making my job harder. I told the boss nothing, just made sure to spit in his burgers every time it was my turn to run for lunch.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 502
Not cool. SDL_ICON 351
Weird. SDL_ICON 259
1112 votes so far.
  • Confession #4

    “I had an affair with my married boss twice my age. Later, when his son, my age, came to work for us, I had an affair with him. Different times, but never told one about the other.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 265
Not cool. SDL_ICON 647
Weird. SDL_ICON 392
1304 votes so far.
  • Confession #5

    “There was this woman who had name stickers on everything, even her chair. We took the sticker off her chair and stuck it on the bottom of an identical chair that was broken…”

Go you! SDL_ICON 506
Not cool. SDL_ICON 315
Weird. SDL_ICON 206
1027 votes so far.
  • Confession #6

    “I’m a phlebotomist and sometimes I -accidentally- miss the vein if a patient is being really rude to me… Resulting in a second, more painful stick…”

Go you! SDL_ICON 307
Not cool. SDL_ICON 983
Weird. SDL_ICON 28
1318 votes so far.
  • Confession #7

    “My boss scheduled me on the one day out of the whole year I requested off. I took her pen and gave it a good run between my buttcheeks. I have no regrets.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 754
Not cool. SDL_ICON 124
Weird. SDL_ICON 380
1258 votes so far.
  • Confession #8

    “I used to meet a co-worker in a utility closet during our lunch break so we could have sex. We would exit separately so no one would see us together. This went on for months.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 682
Not cool. SDL_ICON 127
Weird. SDL_ICON 285
1094 votes so far.
  • Confession #9

    “I regularly lay down under my desk for a much needed 30 minute cat nap at lunch. Fortunately, I have my own office & can close my door so that I don’t get busted.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 1063
Not cool. SDL_ICON 27
Weird. SDL_ICON 90
1180 votes so far.
  • Confession #10

    “I work for a Sheriff’s office. I was sent to a hot call and things happened so fast that I forgot to put the truck in park. My vehicle bumped into the guy’s truck, but there was no damage so I didn’t tell anyone.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 609
Not cool. SDL_ICON 226
Weird. SDL_ICON 103
938 votes so far.
THESE CONFESSIONS CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE