Here at Single Dad Laughing, you know we’re all about being real, and being awesome, and letting ourselves be human. On SDL we have The Truth Box, where humans submit their anonymous secret battles. We have Weird Confessions, where real people anonymously divulge their greatest quirks and secret habits. We have Wrong Numbers where people anonymously reply to wrong-number texts from me, a complete stranger.

And then we have… This. Anonymous confessions from the workplace. These are the submissions I received when I randomly put up a form and asked all of you to submit your work secrets.

Some (to me) are hilarious. Some, mischievously inspiring. Others seem to cross a big line that makes me squirm and say: “Too far! Too far!” But… it’s not my place to judge. I’ll leave that to all of you in the voting boxes below!

Oh, and don’t forget to submit your own anonymous Workplace Confession at the end of the post.

30 ANONYMOUS WORKPLACE CONFESSIONS

  • Confession #1

    “I smoke ridiculous amounts of pot before work just to survive the people I work with. They always say I’m so calm about everything, well that’s because I have a little help.”

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  • Confession #2

    “I put a ton of laxatives into a pot of chili that was in the fridge because I was sick of my boss eating my lunch every time he was too lazy to go get his own lunch.”

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  • Confession #3

    “After I slept with a germ freak at work, he started treating me like crap, disrespecting me, and making my job harder. I told the boss nothing, just made sure to spit in his burgers every time it was my turn to run for lunch.”

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  • Confession #4

    “I had an affair with my married boss twice my age. Later, when his son, my age, came to work for us, I had an affair with him. Different times, but never told one about the other.”

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  • Confession #5

    “There was this woman who had name stickers on everything, even her chair. We took the sticker off her chair and stuck it on the bottom of an identical chair that was broken…”

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  • Confession #6

    “I’m a phlebotomist and sometimes I -accidentally- miss the vein if a patient is being really rude to me… Resulting in a second, more painful stick…”

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  • Confession #7

    “My boss scheduled me on the one day out of the whole year I requested off. I took her pen and gave it a good run between my buttcheeks. I have no regrets.”

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  • Confession #8

    “I used to meet a co-worker in a utility closet during our lunch break so we could have sex. We would exit separately so no one would see us together. This went on for months.”

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  • Confession #9

    “I regularly lay down under my desk for a much needed 30 minute cat nap at lunch. Fortunately, I have my own office & can close my door so that I don’t get busted.”

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  • Confession #10

    “I work for a Sheriff’s office. I was sent to a hot call and things happened so fast that I forgot to put the truck in park. My vehicle bumped into the guy’s truck, but there was no damage so I didn’t tell anyone.”

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THESE CONFESSIONS CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!