Here at Single Dad Laughing, you know we’re all about being real, and being awesome, and letting ourselves be human. On SDL we have The Truth Box, where humans submit their anonymous secret battles. We have Weird Confessions, where real people anonymously divulge their greatest quirks and secret habits. We have Wrong Numbers where people anonymously reply to wrong-number texts from me, a complete stranger.

And then we have… This. Anonymous confessions from the workplace. These are the submissions I received when I randomly put up a form and asked all of you to submit your work secrets.

Some (to me) are hilarious. Some, mischievously inspiring. Others seem to cross a big line that makes me squirm and say: “Too far! Too far!” But… it’s not my place to judge. I’ll leave that to all of you in the voting boxes below!

Oh, and don’t forget to submit your own anonymous Workplace Confession at the end of the post.

30 ANONYMOUS WORKPLACE CONFESSIONS

  • Confession #1

    “I smoke ridiculous amounts of pot before work just to survive the people I work with. They always say I’m so calm about everything, well that’s because I have a little help.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 635
Not cool. SDL_ICON 360
Weird. SDL_ICON 129
1124 votes so far.
  • Confession #2

    “I put a ton of laxatives into a pot of chili that was in the fridge because I was sick of my boss eating my lunch every time he was too lazy to go get his own lunch.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 1016
Not cool. SDL_ICON 179
Weird. SDL_ICON 81
1276 votes so far.
  • Confession #3

    “After I slept with a germ freak at work, he started treating me like crap, disrespecting me, and making my job harder. I told the boss nothing, just made sure to spit in his burgers every time it was my turn to run for lunch.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 491
Not cool. SDL_ICON 347
Weird. SDL_ICON 256
1094 votes so far.
  • Confession #4

    “I had an affair with my married boss twice my age. Later, when his son, my age, came to work for us, I had an affair with him. Different times, but never told one about the other.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 257
Not cool. SDL_ICON 638
Weird. SDL_ICON 386
1281 votes so far.
  • Confession #5

    “There was this woman who had name stickers on everything, even her chair. We took the sticker off her chair and stuck it on the bottom of an identical chair that was broken…”

Go you! SDL_ICON 495
Not cool. SDL_ICON 312
Weird. SDL_ICON 204
1011 votes so far.
  • Confession #6

    “I’m a phlebotomist and sometimes I -accidentally- miss the vein if a patient is being really rude to me… Resulting in a second, more painful stick…”

Go you! SDL_ICON 301
Not cool. SDL_ICON 969
Weird. SDL_ICON 26
1296 votes so far.
  • Confession #7

    “My boss scheduled me on the one day out of the whole year I requested off. I took her pen and gave it a good run between my buttcheeks. I have no regrets.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 740
Not cool. SDL_ICON 121
Weird. SDL_ICON 378
1239 votes so far.
  • Confession #8

    “I used to meet a co-worker in a utility closet during our lunch break so we could have sex. We would exit separately so no one would see us together. This went on for months.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 666
Not cool. SDL_ICON 126
Weird. SDL_ICON 284
1076 votes so far.
  • Confession #9

    “I regularly lay down under my desk for a much needed 30 minute cat nap at lunch. Fortunately, I have my own office & can close my door so that I don’t get busted.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 1043
Not cool. SDL_ICON 27
Weird. SDL_ICON 90
1160 votes so far.
  • Confession #10

    “I work for a Sheriff’s office. I was sent to a hot call and things happened so fast that I forgot to put the truck in park. My vehicle bumped into the guy’s truck, but there was no damage so I didn’t tell anyone.”

Go you! SDL_ICON 596
Not cool. SDL_ICON 224
Weird. SDL_ICON 103
923 votes so far.
THESE CONFESSIONS CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE