Now that the Humaning app has been temporarily shelved while I figure out how to make money to support it, I suppose it’s time to start posting all that awesome content (that I moved over to the app) back here onto Single Dad Laughing again… Creepy Things Kids Say, Wrong Numbers, Bad First Date Stories. Weird Confessions, The Truth Box, and everything else, too. I assure you, I miss it as much as you do. Probably more.
Oh, those Weird Confessions in particular. Remember those? The confessions you all share completely anonymously about all the weird things you do when no one is looking?
Hm. How do I put this nicely? Creating those posts were perhaps the greatest labor of love I have ever bestowed upon the pages of this blog.
WHAT YOU ALL SAW: 50 confessions at a time that were light-hearted, well-balanced, silly, goofy, and occasionally eyebrow-raising or nasty.
WHAT I SAW: For every confession I shared, I had to wade through no fewer than six absolutely awful and disgusting confessions, sometimes more. Often times, overwhelmingly more.
And do you know what I learned? I learned that there are a lot of dirty, dirty, DIRTY habits that so many people share. You may even be one of those people. I’m sure I have my own, even though none of these apply.
Yes, these are the confessions that came in again, and again, and again. I saw every single one of these confessions not dozens of times, but hundreds, and sometimes (I kid you not), thousands of times.
Humaning is hard sometimes. Humans are also disgusting sometimes. And this is the proof.
These are the top six that come immediately to mind. I’ll also dig up the most recent confession for each that I received, and quote it word for word. This is real.
1) Eating One’s Own Boogers – After scrolling through thousands of confessions, I am now convinced that no fewer than half of the adults on this planet eat their own boogers. This was by FAR the number one “Weird Confession” that came rolling in, among other booger confessions which I’ll get to.
LAST BOOGER EATING CONFESSION RECEIVED: “I always eat my own boogers. I’m a 32yo successful woman and I guess an attractive woman too and nobody would ever guess I do that. I could never tell my husband, he’d divorce me on the spot!”
And can you blame him? I kid. I kid. Mostly.
2) Picking Off & Eating One’s Own Scabs – This was the second most common confession received, always in such similar but colorfully assorted accounts.
LAST SCAB EATING CONFESSION RECEIVED: “I like to pick of my scabs and eat them especially when they’re really thick and about to fall off.”
I’m with you on this one, all the way up to, well, all of it.
3) Scratching Off & Nibbling On One’s Own Dandruff – Look, I’m not going to judge others, but holy dandruff, Batman. Perhaps keep some pretzel sticks nearby? Again, I get this confession constantly. The same goes for all the rest of these confessions, so just assume it’s true from here on out.
LAST DANDRUFF NIBBLING CONFESSION RECEIVED: “While I’m watching TV I love to scratch my head really hard to get big flakes of dandruff off and then I chew on them. I don’t even think about it I’ve done it so long.”
You obviously do think about it, or you wouldn’t feel the need to get it off your chest. Don’t feel too bad. There are many more of you out there. I suggest asking all your friends if they do it, too. I’m sure they’ll jump at the chance to not think it’s disgusting.