I knew this would be a good one. Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall I asked the question: “What is the most ridiculous thing that has ever *unintentionally* come out of your mouth?” These were 30 of my favorite replies.

And be sure to submit your own! There is an anonymous confession box at the end of the post!

Did You Just Say That? 30 Ridiculous Slip-Up Confessions

  • Slip-Up Confession #1

    A customer was yelling at me about his credit card and he told me to drive it up my a$$. I replied (totally accidental), “sir, I’ve been yelled at all day by people and with all the things I’ve been told to shove up there, I don’t have any room left for your card!” Enter awkward silence… followed by a hysterical customer who told me that was the best thing he had heard all day.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #2

    I met up with coworkers one night for drinks and said, “I almost didn’t recognize you with clothes on!” I meant everyday clothes, instead of a uniform.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #3

    I worked with a lady once who was sort of mousy, in appearance and personality. Her hair was always limp and sort of greasy looking… One day I walked in and her hair was… clean and curled a little… I said, “Wow, Karen! Your hair looks better!” I totally MEANT to say, “your hair looks nice!”…. but… ya know.. I suffer from dysfunctional filter.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #4

    While working at a store, a guy came in and bought a box of condoms. As he left I accidentally said, “have a good time!” instead of “have a good day.”

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  • Slip-Up Confession #5

    I was at a clothing store and this girl came in wearing very short shorts and tank top. A guy walked by and whistled at her and she said, “I wish they would keep their comments to their self.” I said “well, maybe if you kept your ass cheeks to yourself.” She replied, “excuse me?!” I had to look around at who she might be talking to because I could have sworn I only thought it.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #6

    I asked my 7 year old if she wanted chlamydia instead of cappuccino… I was tired.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #7

    My married friends were hanging out; she is a redhead. We all were drunk and she had touched something before I ate it. I blurted out, in front of her husband, “it’s okay. I like the way gingers taste.” The whole room went silent except one person. Her husband, who couldn’t stop laughing.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #8

    I said “love you” to my ex husband while hanging up the phone. I immediately called back and had to ask if I had actually said it, we both laughed.

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  • Slip-Up Confession #9

    While working a new job at a deli, I was wiping down countertops with a dish rag. When I was done I very loudly asked someone across the open store, “where do I put my dirty rag?”

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  • Slip-Up Confession #10

    I am going to label mine the unintentional outcome of awesome…. Whenever things got stressful for a coworker and me, we just said GFY… (go f**k yourself)… Well, the trend caught on within the office, and soon enough the owner printed off giant GFY posters to hang in various places, just to keep things light. The owner’s mother came in one day and asked me, “what does GFY stand for?” In a moment of panic I told her it was “an interoffice reminder to not take things so seriously.” She thought it was great. Then she started sounding it out, trying to come up with the words. In yet another panic-stricken mode… I came up with “’Good for you.’ It is ok to be upset if it is good for you, and makes you feel better. As long as it’s good for you, its good for the company.” Now, whenever she emails the company, walks out the door….anything…. She starts with “GFY everyone!”

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