Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook page, I asked what was the creepiest thing you’ve ever heard said by your… parents. As usual, you all delivered some of the creepiest, weirdest, and most hilarious responses!

20 of the CREEPIEST Things Ever Said by… Parents.

  • Submission #1

    My dad used to walk around in his tighty whities singing “Do-wah Do-wah Do-wah dickie, I like sex, but it makes you sticky.” I consider myself a miracle. I should be a very broken person, LOL!

CREEPY SDL_ICON 688
LOL! SDL_ICON 477
Too Far SDL_ICON 624
1789 votes so far.
  • Submission #2

    The night before thanksgiving my mom and dad were at my sister’s house. He said that he had to go home and stuff the turkey. Then he said to my mom. “Come on turkey. Let’s go home.”

CREEPY SDL_ICON 247
LOL! SDL_ICON 1393
Too Far SDL_ICON 175
1815 votes so far.
  • Submission #3

    My mom to my dad: “you wash that car almost every day. When’s the last time you washed me?” my dad was mortified. I laughed until I cried.

CREEPY SDL_ICON 227
LOL! SDL_ICON 1229
Too Far SDL_ICON 99
1555 votes so far.
  • Submission #4

    My mom lost her eye. Trying to make light of the situation my dad would make pirate jokes. Finally my mom had had enough. She told dad, “if I hear it one more time, you won’t be getting any more of this pirate’s booty.”

CREEPY SDL_ICON 58
LOL! SDL_ICON 1667
Too Far SDL_ICON 47
1772 votes so far.
  • Submission #5

    After my Dad passed away, I heard my mother giggling at one point. Fearing she was going to have a nervous breakdown, I asked if she was ok and what was going on. She looked at me and grinned with tears in her eyes and said, “your Father was always ready. Didn’t matter where or when. It just occurred to me he’s going to be stiff forever…”

CREEPY SDL_ICON 435
LOL! SDL_ICON 1135
Too Far SDL_ICON 301
1871 votes so far.
  • Submission #6

    Me as I’m trying to reach for something: ‘Dad, why am I so short?’

    Dad: ‘Your mom wasn’t really in the mood that night.’

CREEPY SDL_ICON 311
LOL! SDL_ICON 1134
Too Far SDL_ICON 200
1645 votes so far.
  • Submission #7

    As a teenager, I was standing in the kitchen of one of my closest friends. We were getting ready to leave and her mother wanted a kiss goodbye. Embarrassed, my friend didn’t want to kiss her. Her mother responded, “you should be happy to kiss the lips on my face and remember that they are not the first ‘lips you’ve kissed of mine.” Yup, you heard that right…

CREEPY SDL_ICON 585
LOL! SDL_ICON 189
Too Far SDL_ICON 1211
1985 votes so far.
  • Submission #8

    When referring to dating guys at work, my mom once told me and my sister, “don’t get your sausage where you get your bacon!”

CREEPY SDL_ICON 174
LOL! SDL_ICON 1401
Too Far SDL_ICON 82
1657 votes so far.
  • Submission #9

    My little brother caught my parents in the act once when he was little. After inquiring what they were doing, my dad replied, “it’s mommy’s turn to ride the horsey.”

CREEPY SDL_ICON 486
LOL! SDL_ICON 830
Too Far SDL_ICON 318
1634 votes so far.
  • Submission #10

    In the 80’s as a teenager, I asked my dad what he got Mom for her birthday; he said a vibrator, LOL. I wanted to throw up! Turns out he had just bought her something for her neck that vibrates.

CREEPY SDL_ICON 190
LOL! SDL_ICON 1240
Too Far SDL_ICON 93
1523 votes so far.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!