She burst through the door into my room. “TURN IT THE F*** OFF!” she screamed, as she violently yanked handfuls of her own hair out, ready to rip my head off and throw it through my window.
Jerilee is a really nice person.
That’s how bad this song was.
And that’s how many times it had played on repeat.
I was out.
I didn’t hear her burst in.
I was laying halfway flopped onto the bed, with one arm and one leg clumsily hanging off the side.
I didn’t ever hear her yell. I didn’t ever see her eyes bulging. I didn’t ever witness her last straw moment.
And when she realized I was gonzo, she simply silenced my phone and left me to dangle precariously like any good friend should. I’m sure she muttered many curse words as she shut the door once more.
The next morning, I heard about it. Big time. Apparently it was keeping everyone in the house awake. That’s how poorly Siri chose Sleepytime music for me.
I pulled up my Music app to see if the song was still on there. It was. And it was even worse than they made it out to be. The name of the band sounded nothing like “Sleepytime.”
And for that, I apologize dear friends.
Don’t blame me.
And Steve Jobs.
And smart phones.
And the nerds of the world.
And dark hellish humans who play music like that.
But not me.
I would never do anything like that to you. Not on purpose. I just wanted some sleepy sleep.
Why I would ask Siri to play Sleepytime music is beyond me. I drink Sleepytime tea before bed sometimes. Other than that, I cannot think of anything Sleepytime that would make me do such things.
Apparently, absurd things are done on Ambien, at times.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing