We’re six months into our new life in the city, and the strangeness continues to practically fall into our laps everywhere we turn. I love city life, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to go back to life with lawns and quiet streets.
Last week we decided to go for an adventure on the local train system with no other purpose than to see what we could see. Unbeknownst to us, Comic Con was letting out and so we got to see all sorts of epic weirdness without paying a dime to go do so. Turns out when you mix epic weirdos with public transit, you get the most epic of the weirdest weirdos.
Now, it took a moment for concept to catch up with reality, and at first I was just like… what the hell is going on in Salt Lake City?! At the train station by our home, we were greeted by Snow White. She was flustered beyond flustered and stopped me to ask where the connecting train was. She looked exactly like Disney’s version of Snow White. She sounded exactly like her. And I almost expected a grumpy little dwarf to come sucker punch me for talking to his broad.
Things only got weirder. We hopped on the train and headed toward downtown. Around the first corner was a man standing on the sidewalk in a huge oversized trench coat. He was holding an automatic weapon at his side, and frankly, I thought some shit was about to go down. But only for a moment because then I started seeing everyone else all dressed up and I suddenly remembered… Oh, it’s that Comic Con thing I’ve heard so much about.
By the time we arrived at our stop downtown, we had officially seen (this is just on the train) a creepy clown “giving birth” (complete with hanging placenta and blood soaked clown pants), the most real looking Ruuu-fiiii-ooooo you could possibly imagine (complete with legit Mohawk), a Bo Peep with her wolf boyfriend (complete with Speedo, face paint, and his own amazingly hairy body naturally providing the fur), and someone I would swear to you right now was the most real life Homer Simpson in existence (complete with pear shaped body, comb-over, thick stubble, and bulgy eyes).
The freak show went on and on. By the end, Noah and I finally got what Comic Con is all about. And we decided that we want to go to it next year. We do, after all, love letting our freak flags fly.
On our way home, with a shopping bag full of stuff we really didn’t need, we stood at the platform for the train, surrounded by a crowd of Comic Con weirdos as thick as an old hippo’s breath. We had fifteen minutes to kill, and Noah asked if he could play the Flappy remake he and I developed so long ago, which flopped completely because it took so long to finish that the Flappy craze was long over. To be honest, I had forgotten our game existed at all.
I handed him my phone and gave him permission to spend all the coins. I wasn’t going to ever use them, after all. And, as I watched him turn himself into Giant Flappy, and strap on his rocket packs, and use his force fields… A horde of these weirdos started gathering around us. Watching Noah play along with me.
“That’s the coolest Flappy ever,” one weirdo said. “OMG, that’s so cool!” another weirdo said. There were no fewer than eight super weirdos practically pushing us onto the train tracks wanting to know what this Flappy game was all about.
The train was approaching. “Gotta get on the train, time to turn off the phone,” I told Noah.
“What’s that game called?” someone finally asked, pulling out his phone.
As I slipped my own phone into my pocket, I thought about telling them what it was called and where to get it. Then I looked at Noah who had worked hand in hand with me to build it, all the way to the end. And I thought about how I kind of loved that it flopped completely. And I looked at the guy as the train doors opened and simply said, “I have no idea.”
A bunch of weirdos thinking it was cool was good enough for me. I kind of liked that, even though it’s probably on a few phones out there, it’s kind of just Noah’s and my iPhone game.
I let Noah play a few more rounds on the way home. He soon lost interest and handed it back as a half-pig half-cow and his half-frog half-lizard son who was about Noah’s age sat down directly across from us. He squeezed me tight, watched them, and didn’t say a word. After we hopped off the train, he made me promise that we would join all those weirdos next time. The seed had been planted. And weirdos we shall be.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
Oh, and thanks to my kid sister Andie who let me use her Comic Con photo for this post. She made the most fabulous Ursula, don’t you agree?