Poetry Rerun #10 of 10

I am going to rerun 10 poems that I wrote and shared in the past. This is one of them, from October 2013. During these reruns I’ll be joining the Single Dad Laughing Health Club team at the Philly Tough Mudder, and almost immediately following, undergoing another bum surgery. Yay for my bum. Anyway, after the last poem that so many of you enjoyed, I went on a trip down memory lane to see what other poetry I had written. I actually had forgotten most of it, so this is almost just as fun and new for me as it will be for most of you.

This is the Curse of Being Hot

This is the curse of being hot,
and trying to be something
most people are not.

It starts with two feet planted straight on the ground,
a glance in the mirror, and a bit of a frown.

“I can change this,” thinks I.

I poke at my flub and my flab and my fat.
I think to myself,
I am better than that.

And with my two feet planted straight on the ground,
I know I’ll be hot once I lose twenty pounds.

And I begin to change myself.

I sweat and I toil,
the pounds start falling off.
I run and I jump,
I cannot be stopped.

As the number goes down,
each time I step on the scale,
my hotness level goes up.
The equation can’t fail.

I lose twenty pounds, I look fit as a fiddle.
But what about these extra ten pounds in the middle?

And some people have noticed, which is nice I admit,
But more people would notice if I was more fit.

Then a glance at my face, and I see all that’s wrong.
Perhaps a nice cream will help things along.

And what are these lines
That are starting to form?
And what are these spots?
Those can’t be my norm.

In fact, those twenty pounds really
weren’t enough to be hot.
Ten more, maybe twenty,
to finish the job?

And with time, I find a way to lose it.

This is when the curse starts really taking hold.

The curse of being hot.

No matter how much sweat
drips onto the mat,
The more weight that I lose,
the more I feel fat.

Yes, that dude with more muscle, and bulge in his eyes,
That girl who’s so skinny, I can see through her thighs.

I can be as hot as them.

And the less that I eat
The more depression I feel,
When I eat anything more
than a low-calorie meal.

And the nose that I once
thought was just fine,
suddenly is too big,
for this new body of mine.

I want one that looks more narrow and straight;
maybe when I have money, I’ll finally look great.

And my butt. Oh, this butt.
It’s just too dang saggy.
And the skin ‘round my eyes,
it’s just so dang baggy.

How did I never see all this back when?
I was so much the grosser,
and so much less thin.

The jiggle under my arms,
the tone in my calves,
the dimples in my skin…
It all looks like crap.

Yes, I can be so much hotter than this.

So much hotter…

And the hotter I get,
the more things that I see
that need to be fixed
to be a hotter version of me.

The more that I work,
the more I know I’m not doing.
The more weight that I lose,
the more weight needs losing.

And strangely I think back to that day in the mirror,
my two feet on the ground, when things were more clear.

And all I wanted to do was lose twenty pounds.

To finally be hot.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!