Single Dad Laughing’s 10 “Rules” to Break in order to Break Free Already!
10Sleep on your bed in the wrong direction.
Yeah. That’s right. Who said your head has to be by the headboard? Just because someone named it a headboard doesn’t mean you should be stuck sleeping that way for life. Does it really matter which way you sleep? I didn’t think so. In fact, you may even find it nice not to have your head inches away from a wall for 8 hours every night.
9Drive down the wrong side of the road.
First of all, no suing me for this. Do not do it if you are stupid and can’t tell when it is safe to do and when it is safe not to do. For everyone with a brain, when you’re on a long completely empty road, and there is absolutely no danger or other cars or people, go for a nice long drive down the wrong side of a straight road. Is it against the law to drive on the wrong side of the road? Absolutely. Oh, and another side note: I am not responsible for any police tickets you may incur. One more side note: I do this often, and I have for years, and I have never gotten a ticket. If you do, you are not very good at picking your times and places, dude.
8Wear your most comfortable clashing clothes in public.
For just one day, when you’re going out to run errands, and you know you’ll be seeing lots of people, wear the absolute most comfortable clothes you own, and say “damn the social torpedoes!” as you go. I’m talking your most comfy undies. Your most comfy socks. Definitely your most comfy shoes. Your most comfy everything head to toe. The more it all clashes the better. Colors, fabrics, styles, all of it should clash. You’ll be amazed what you can learn by doing this.
7Scream something positive in public.
Next time you’re out with a group of friends or family members, don’t give anyone any warning and suddenly…
Stop what you’re doing…
Shout at the top of your lungs…
“I LOVE LIFE SO MUCH!”
Or something equally as positive. Don’t hold back. Let it rip. Just yell it. Your friends will be shocked. The people around you will stop and look at you. And guess what. They’ll all think, that was weird. And they’ll also wish they had the guts to do that, too.
6Blow money on something you *shouldn’t*.
I’d be willing to bet there is something you have wanted to do or try for a long time, but you’re too worried about what people will think if they find out. Could be a weird product. Could be a weird class. Could be a weird service. Well, you’re most likely an adult. Stop caring so dang much and go blow your money on whatever the heck you want. It’s your money! You wanna learn how to belly dance? Do it! You want to buy a trumpet and learn how to play it for no good reason at all? Do it!
5Cart-dance in the grocery store.
I am not talking 10 seconds here. I am talking aisle, after aisle, after aisle. Wear headphones so that no one can hear the jams you’re jamming to. And dance. Wiggle your butt. Do the disco as you reach for items. Swing your cart around. Just have fun, and when people stare at you, give them a happy nod and keep going. Guess what. They all wish they were brave enough to do that. As an extra bonus, try to get another shopper to synchronize cart-dance with you.
4Race someone up the down escalator in a crowded place.
You know that scene in the movie Inside Out, when Riley almost doesn’t slide down the stair railing because of whatever reason? Well, growing up is stupid. We don’t do fun things anymore because… Why? I don’t know. But we totally should do a lot more of those fun things, sometimes. Start by having a foot race with someone up the down escalator. It’s quite a silly little rush.
3“Return” money to a stranger.
This one probably sounds weird, and it will cost you a little bit of money, but just try it. Take a five dollar bill (or a dollar or twenty, who cares), and single someone out of a crowd who just looks like they’re having a crummy time in life at the moment. Tap them on the shoulder from behind and say, “excuse me, but you dropped this.” They’ll probably try to tell you they didn’t drop it. Insist that you watched it fall out of their pocket, and don’t relent until they take it. After they do, pay them an extremely sincere compliment. And… bam. Their day just got a lot better, and you got to feel awesome as you break free of your fear of doing things like that.
2Next time a tiny fart slips…
Next time you let a tiny fart slip, laugh and take credit! Why do humans think being human is such a disgusting and horrible thing? It is true, I agree we should not all go around farting like crazy everywhere we go. But we all have tiny toots slip here and there. Instead of being embarrassed and acting like it never happened (or even worse, denying it completely), laugh and raise your hand. “Whoops, that was totally me.” Say it. Side note: I know some of you have power butts and the rare occasional slip happens almost never. But it does happen. So just do it the next time it does, even though it won’t likely be any time soon; the more people in the room the better.
1When someone else slips one…
Next time someone else lets a tiny fart slip, laugh and take credit. I know, I know. You could never. But do it anyway. Most people are so mortified at a tiny fart that you’ll be their best friend forever when you take the blame upon yourself. That, or they’ll try and steal the credit back since people are now laughing and appreciating you for your blatant honesty. Well, dishonesty in this case.
And that was our awesome list.
You gonna try it? Any of it? I hope so, because let’s be honest… I bet most everything on that list made you uncomfortable, yet it also made you smile thinking about doing it.
And do you know what’s even better than a sly little smile thinking about doing something? A giant smile and a rush of dopamine when you do those things instead!
Of course, if any of you take my challenge to free yourself a little more, I hope you’ll message me and tell me all about how it went.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing