I saw it on Amazon. And I needed it.
Normal price: $79.99.
And look! Four and a half stars from a whopping 239 people! That’s legit!
Wow. 78% already bought. 78% already… gone?!
On sale, Black Friday only, right then, right there, for $19.99.
I didn’t know I needed it until I saw it. I didn’t even really know such a thing existed before I bought it. But the moment I saw it, I knew it would quite possibly be the most important purchase of my life.
After all, it was usually eighty bucks!
And right now only twenty? Including shipping?! I would be stupid not to buy it, right? It would even be irresponsible.
I refreshed the app. What?! 84% now purchased! That’s not good! Crudola! I gotta jump on this! NOW!
Button clicked. Confirmation page loaded. Intense and deep satisfaction settled-in.
I bragged to my closest friends of my amazing deal. “Why would you need that?!” they replied.
First of all… rude.
“THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I CAN DO WITH THIS!” I chimed back rather defensively. There would be no buyer’s remorse for this one. Not when I got the deal I got.
But then I went to bed. And tried really hard to think of a single thing I would do with my new purchase. I fell asleep trying. And I woke up.
And sleep had done something to let me know one inevitable truth… I really didn’t need that. In fact, I couldn’t think of one thing I would use it for.
But. But. But. $19.99!
And I’m now the proud owner of…
A brand-spanking new monocular, baby!
The package had been sitting on my couch unopened for a week because I haven’t needed it… yet.
Don’t worry. I will eventually find a use for it. I may be drawing blanks right now. It may gather dust for weeks, months, years, or even decades. But I will find a use for it.
Oh, wait. This was a use for it! A blog post! My impulse purchase wasn’t for nothing after all.
Darn you to heck, black Friday! You got me again.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing