Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I once asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect. What I got would floor me.

And from that… the most creepy, most amazing, series was born. Enjoy today’s batch of stories, brought to you by you. They’re…. amazing.

20 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said By Kids

  • 1. My 5-year-old son, after bonking his head:

    “That almost took my head off.”

    Me: “Naw, you didn’t hit it hard enough.”

    His slightly older sister: “A chainsaw would do it.”

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  • 2. I have had multiple miscarriages.

    My daughter once told me, “I met your babies that died, in my dream. They want you to know that you’re a good mom.”

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  • 3. Everyone was shocked by how well my youngest talked for his age...

    At a year in a half he would tell me he begged God to let me be his mommy. He would also says things like, “I was an angel in heaven,” and, “I had another mommy, but I wanted you.” “I’m so glad God let you be my mommy.” We weren’t super religious so it was really random to hear him talk about God, Heaven, and angels.

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  • 4. My child once told me:

    “I bet people taste like bacon. Or maybe chicken.”

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  • 5. My sister got hit by a drunk driver in April and it totaled her car. She had my 4 year old nephew and my infant niece with her.

    When my mom arrived at the hospital my nephew asked her if he could thank the big guys.

    “What big guys, Kaiden?”

    “Grammy, the big guys that were in the car with me when it got loud and scary and they hugged me with their arms and kept me safe.”

    Even the insurance adjuster cannot explain how either child escaped with not a scratch.

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  • 6. Driving in the car with my then 6-year-old (with the radio off):

    Her: “Do you hear that?”

    Me: “No. Hear what?”

    Her: “That man’s voice, whispering.”

    Me, as hair raises on the back of my neck: “What’s he saying?”

    Her: “He is asking me if I can hear him.”

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  • 7. My 3 year old niece came to the table where the adults were playing cards...

    She sat her Sophia doll down and exclaimed, “Sophia is dead.” My mom said, “Maybe she is sleeping?” My niece replied, “Nope. She’s dead,” and ran away.

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  • 8. My 1 1/2 yr old told me:

    “The baby is stuck, it’s stuck in your tummy,” and I miscarried about a week later.

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  • 9. My 5-year-old asked me when he is going to be 23...

    I told him, “In 18 years.”

    He replied, “Well, I hope don’t die again- ‘cause that’s how old I was the last time I went to heaven.”

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  • 10. Enough said.

    “When grandma dies, I get all her jewelry.”

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!