For the first time in Dad & Noah history, it has happened…
A King of All Kings has been crowned, and a Joker has been joker-hatted (that’s a thing, right?).
I’ve told you of our ongoing rivalry before. Noah and I constantly strive to dethrone one another in five different games: Carrival, wrestling, Farkel, Fruit Ninja, and Poker. Whoever wins the last round is crowned king of that game until he is dethroned. The loser must then “polish” the other’s crown complete with squeaky sound effects and dramatic disposition.
We then go shift (this is a newer thing we do) actual faces to each crown on our refrigerator so that we remember who is the current monarch. It’s very important for bragging rights, you know.
Anyway, in the history of our rivalries (which goes back years), never has one person been the King of All Kings. Neither one of us has ever had every single crown at the same time. It was decided that if that day ever came, that person would be King of Kings, and the other would become the Joker.
But yesterday all that changed. First I lost Carrival by five friggin’ seconds. That left me with only one crown since he already had the other the three. It was just me and my Fruit Ninja crown. I wasn’t too worried. I have pretty much always been the king of Fruit Ninja.
But that friggin’ kid was more determined to get my crown than I have ever seen him before.
Let’s just say he got it.
And suddenly I was a king without a kingdom. I became the Joker.
The first Joker we’ve ever had.
Noah was excited.
And even that is an understatement.
More than excited, he was actually more like…
Now… first of all… Congrats to Noah on that face. Seriously. I don’t think I could pull something like that off if I tried.
Second of all… What the heck, kid. You had to do it right before you went back to mom’s for the single longest period of time I won’t get to see you in the last few weeks?! That’s messed up.
Third of all… enjoy it. You earned it. You really did. But it won’t last. My entire new life goal is to take every crown away. I need you to feel the pain of loss the way I have. I need you to walk this world a humble man, as I now do. I need you to experience the laughing and mockery that come to all who don’t wear gold upon their heads. I’m coming for you, pal.
Dan Pearce Single Dad Laughing
PS. I have no idea how I went from talking to all of you to talking to Noah. That is terrible writing. But you know what? I don’t care. I’m a joker. It’s my job to not make a lick of sense.