It’s been too long since I brought you along with me as I dive into some of the more *interesting* messages I receive doing this Single Dad Laughing thing.
I recently went through my entire three inboxes. That means going through the email which comes through the SDL website, as well as my Facebook “Other” folder, as well as my Facebook Page messages. Total actual messages (after deleting all obvious spam)? 4,416 since December 12th. It was a two-day job at least. By the way, sorry if you messaged any time in the last
three months six years and I didn’t get back to you. I hit as many as I could. Can we still be friends?
Anyway… here were a few of the highlights. Enjoy. And, yes; it’s okay to be scared or jealous with me on some of these.
AT 4:22 PM ON A WEDNESDAY
From someone we shall call Heather: Hi Dan, just wanted to say hi and tell you how much happiness your page brings me each day. I’d love to talk to you more and get to know you!
AT 4:41 PM ON THAT SAME WEDNESDAY
From someone we shall still call Heather: I guess that means you’re not interested. 🙁
AT 5:06 PM ON THAT SAME WEDNESDAY
From someone we shall still call Heather: What are you too good to even respond to your followers when they message you? Do you know what it’s like to put yourself out there and be rejected? You’re not as cool as you think you are and some of your posts are so stupid. Unfollowing!
What I may have replied had I only found the email in a timely manner: Dear “Heather,” you really did put yourself out there for me, thank you. So sorry to make you feel rejected. I’m also so sorry I bring you such happiness and also so many stupid posts. Must be quite the emotional swing following me. I don’t blame you one bit for bailing. All the best, Dan
AT 2:13 AM ON A MONDAY
From someone we shall call Jack: Hello single dad. I also am a single dad and want to say I love what you do and I love your page. I was writing because I am wondering if you ever would consider flying to another country to meet someone for a weekend.
I can’t give more details except that she will pay for everything and wants it to be a big surprise blind date type thing. I know this might sound really strange but I can vouch for her, you’d be safe and it would make a great blog post whether you hit it off with her or not!
What I may have replied had I only found the email in a timely manner: Dear “Jack,” I think getting murdered in another part of the world sounds like a roaring good time! Sign me up! It would definitely make great blogging. Oh. Wait. I have a son. I better not. Thanks anyway, and all the best. Dan
AT 12:03 PM ON A WEDNESDAY
From someone we shall call Larry: I don’t know if you remember me. I wrote you a few years ago asking if you would consider doing a trade for advertising for me in exchange for a pot bellied pig which I breed and sell online. Any interest now?
What I may have replied had I only found the email in a timely manner: Dear “Larry,” with all my heart I want a potbelly pig. I asked my apartment management and they shut me down, though. Said they were so cute they just couldn’t allow them in the building. Maybe when my living situation changes and I actually want one. All the best, Dan
AT 10:39 AM ON A FRIDAY
From someone we shall call Pam: Hi Dan!!! I have wanted to email you forever but had to be patient!!! My daughter just finally turned 18 and I’m way too old for you but can I set you two up on a date? I want you to be my son-in-law!!! We’re in Utah also and she is gorgeous!!! What do you think?
What I may have replied had I only found the email in a timely manner: Dear “Pam,” I want you to be my mother-in-law, too!!! But someone who is about to go to her senior prom might be a *little* too young for me. Eh, what the heck. Love is love, right? Let’s set it up!!! I’m free in one decade. All the best, Dan
AT 9:24 AM ON A SATURDAY
From someone we shall call Jennifer:
Eh. I cropped down some of the other messages for brevity. For this one you really have to see a screenshot of the entire thing…
What I may have replied had I only found the email in a timely manner: Dear “Jennifer,” If I can’t have sex EVERY Sunday with someone I’ve never met, I don’t want it at all. As appealing as it was. I have needs. All the best, Dan
Hm. So much fun I don’t know why I don’t make it through every email more often. I’d certainly have more opportunities to make life a lot more interesting!
And there would be way more to blog about, as Jack pointed out. Win for everyone!
Or… I guess I could just share the emails with you because that’s almost as good as the real thing. Yeah. Let’s go with that.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. This blog post is all in good fun. Please feel free to message me whenever you like. I really do try to respond to as many as possible and very rarely do I share the emails sent to me, but these ones? Come on… Can you blame me?