The Facebook Troll (Doll) Recovery Checklist

In reference to the 9 Definite Signs You Might Be a Facebook Troll (Doll) post.

Thank you for coming here before posting that trollish response on Facebook. It shows a lot of character and innate awesomeness on your part.

Here’s how it works. Before you type any comment response to anyone on any Facebook post, go through the following checklist until it becomes habit. If you can answer “Yes!” to 100% of them, go ahead and hit send on your reply. It’s just that easy.

1. Wrong Way?

Have I written this in a way that it can’t be taken the wrong way?

If your response can be misread as rude in any way, find a way to reword it.

2. Excited?

Was this person excited when they posted, and am I being excited or supportive of what this person originally posted?

If someone is excited about something going on in her life, you have two appropriate replies. Be excited with her. Or say nothing. Sorry, there are no other options until you are done with the program.

3. Agree?

Do I agree with what this person posted?

You don’t have to agree with everything, but until you get your trolling under control, you are not allowed to publicly disagree with anyone.

4. Think First?

Did I pause to thoroughly think through what this person posted before I typed my reply?

Remember, seek first to understand, and then to be understood. If you had a knee-jerk reaction to something posted on Facebook, delete your entire reply, explain to yourself why it makes sense to the other person, and then you can think about your reply.

5. Troll Phrases?

Does my reply avoid any of the well known troll phrases?

“That is just ridiculous.”
“How stupid can some people be?!”
“This conversation just makes me so mad.”
“Why the heck can’t people just see that…”
“I want to shoot myself in the face right now.”
“Did you fall asleep on the Dum Dum Bus and wake up in Stupidville?”
“I’m Sorry, But…”

That’s good! It means you are thinking less like you’re mentally superior to everyone else. Trust me, you’re not. And you’re the last person who should think you are.

And that’s it! Did you reply “yes” to all those phrases? Great! Go ahead and send that response. You are one big step closer to being less trollesque!

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

SHARE
Previous articleThe Picture They Didn’t Think I’d Have the Guts to Share
Next article9 Definite Signs You Might Be a Facebook Troll (Doll)
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!