Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I once asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect. What I got would floor me.

And from that… the most creepy, most amazing, series was born. Enjoy today’s batch of stories, brought to you by you. They’re…. amazing.

20 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said By Kids

  • 1. When my son was 4, he said he knew the tooth fairy was real because he saw her. He and his sister shared a room and he described a lady with black hair and a white dress hovering over his sister in the middle of the night.

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  • 2. I don't live with my 4 year old. One night, I dreamt he and I were playing together. I went to spend time with him the next evening. He looked at me at the end of our visit and said, "Mommy, I wish that I could always be with you like you were in my dreams last night!"

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  • 3. My son would always start laughing and talking at 2AM in his crib. The next morning his hair would be crazy messy. Sometimes he would call for me and say, “Coddie.” My uncle (we called him Claudie) died a few weeks after we told him we were pregnant, so Liam never met him.

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  • 4. From my 4 year old, "Mom, your bed is SO comfy! Can I have it when you die?"

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  • 5. My 4 year old son, declaring from the back seat ,"I want to be a murderer when I grow up!"

    Me: "Honey, what do you think a murderer is?"

    My son: "Oh, you know, someone who swims around the ocean with sharks."

    Me: "OK, sweetie, that sounds great, but that's not a murderer."

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  • 6. Oldest child: “Mom if we were stranded and you had to eat a human, would you eat one of us?"

    Me: “No."

    Child: “Hmm... I would eat Dad, he is bigger."

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  • 7. Last August, our elderly neighbor died after battling numerous medical issues (my son enjoyed visiting him and having him over. They got along great). I was out of town on business so he was staying with my parents. My mom approached my son to tell him the unfortunate news. She found him sitting on the floor in their living room looking quite peaceful. After she told him, he calmly said "I know already. He told me he's all better now. He's with Arline (his deceased wife) again, and they're happy." He then looked towards the ceiling and started mumbling something to himself.

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  • 8. "If I die, Daddy, don't worry. As long as you remember me I'll be able to dig out and cuddle you."

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  • 9. When my son was about 5, he had an imaginary little sister whom he called Molly. She supposedly went everywhere with him and he talked to her all the time. What he didn't know was that I had a miscarriage when he was 2 and had it been a girl, her name was going to be Holly.

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  • 10. My 8yr old daughter told me, "Mom, I love you and all... But sometimes I don't think you're you." It completely caught me off guard, so I asked her what she meant. She replied, "well, sometimes I feel like my real mom was taken away and you are just a creature wearing her skin."

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!