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  • 11. From my 4-year-old: "We have a back yard and a front yard, why don't we have a graveyard?"

CREEPY SDL_ICON 124
Funny SDL_ICON 859
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 259
1242 votes so far.
  • 12. I was in my room one night, and my 3 year old says, “I saw him over there. He had RED eyes."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 1024
Funny SDL_ICON 22
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 177
1223 votes so far.
  • 13. My 2-year-old told me he was going to poke me and let all my blood out.

CREEPY SDL_ICON 777
Funny SDL_ICON 263
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 178
1218 votes so far.
  • 14. I was with my 6 yr old grandson, he looked at me and said, out of the blue, "I am a cannibal. You will be my meat."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 762
Funny SDL_ICON 432
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 85
1279 votes so far.
  • 15. "Mom you're so handsome, I can eat your face!"

CREEPY SDL_ICON 178
Funny SDL_ICON 762
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 233
1173 votes so far.
  • 16. My young niece, not aware that her mother (my sister) was undergoing chemotherapy, leaned over and whispered a movie quote from a Western she had recently watched with her father into her ear, "You're going to die alone."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 886
Funny SDL_ICON 126
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 149
1161 votes so far.
  • 17. When my nephew was 5, he offered me a cookie. When I reached out to accept it, he pulled it away from me said me he wasn't offering it to me, but to the person standing behind me... There was no one else there.

CREEPY SDL_ICON 1110
Funny SDL_ICON 60
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 108
1278 votes so far.
  • 18. I was 8 months pregnant with baby #6 and #4 came up to me with scissors and said, “It is time for the baby to come out."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 876
Funny SDL_ICON 398
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 77
1351 votes so far.
  • 19. Walking past an old cemetery, my (then) 3-year-old son casually said, "My brother is in there." When I reminded him that he didn't have a brother, he said, "No, Mama... from before. When the other lady was my mommy."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 1364
Funny SDL_ICON 21
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 35
1420 votes so far.
  • 20. My 4yo daughter once came and stuck her face in the crack of the door while I was using the toilet, and in a really creepy voice said, "Mom, you cannot hide from what's coming. Not even in here."

CREEPY SDL_ICON 963
Funny SDL_ICON 347
Yeah, so? SDL_ICON 44
1354 votes so far.

Um.

Yeah.

Creepy.

And hilarious.

And sometimes a mixture of both. Hahaha.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Would love for you to submit your own stories below. Oh, and if you want a whole lot more of this “Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids” series, well. There’s the link to all of them.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

What is the creepiest thing you've ever heard a child say?

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!