If you’re like most humans, you know very well what your biggest personality flaws in your closest relationships are. If you’re like me, you may not want to admit them most of the time, but you know what they are.
And I bet you want them gone as much as I do. But why?
I mean… the more I come to intimately know other people, and myself, the more I realize the biggest reason why we don’t ever seem to overcome our biggest flaws. We don’t eliminate them because it would mean destroying some of our biggest strengths in the process. If you really think about it, we can’t generally give up our biggest personality flaws because those flaws can be, quite literally, the most incredible and productive parts of us as well.
And on that premise, I present to you:
Just 8 of the Major Personality Flaws You Should Probably Hone Instead of Eliminate
THE FLAW: I’ll start with my own biggest personality flaw as an example. I am one stubborn son of a gun. Ask anyone I’ve ever dated (or my close friends); they’ll back me up on that, and they’ll probably tell you it is one of the biggest turn-offs when thinking of me. I’m “oppositional defiant.” When someone tells me I can’t do something, I want to do it just because I can. If someone tells me something is wrong, I will find all the ways it can be right. If someone tells me I shouldn’t like another person, I will find the reasons why I should; and visa versa, if someone tells me that a person deserves my adoration and respect, I will instinctually look for flaws. I play, by nature, the devil’s advocate no matter the topic. And it’ll drive you crazy if you know me.
THE STRENGTH: It has helped me not care very much what other people think (most of the time). This frees me to openly defy unnecessary authority, and think outside of a box many people can’t. It’s what has driven my blog to be so successful; I have always taken the “rules” I’ve seen other bloggers lay out and do whatever I want instead with my writing, regardless of what any of them think. It is a strength that can create liberating and exciting social moments with those in my personal life as I cross social norms to get even the most introvert of people having a blast without fear of repercussion. It lets me live my life openly and honestly, just as I am. And all of that tends to be something that really draws other people, and the people I date, to me. Because of all that, I think I’ll hold onto my stubbornness, thanks.
2. Caring Too Much What Others Think
THE FLAW: It’s definitely the flip-side of the stubbornness flaw. This person constantly attempts to control other people’s actions and even other people’s thoughts where they are involved. This person will often squelch fun and limit involvement in potentially great things for themselves and for others when they fear any sort of harsh judgment coming their way.
THE STRENGTH: This person tends to be much more empathetic by nature because they are able to see others through those caring eyes. This person tends to be a great and devoted friend because they care very much about things going wrong in their relationships. This person also tends to step up and make plans and make sure things are awesome for everyone involved in whatever is going on.
3. Lacking Empathy
THE FLAW: A person who lacks empathy can be aggravating. This person will rarely cut you a break when you’re having a truly difficult time, and will minimize your struggles. When you approach this person with a difficult truth, it will often seem black and white and little thought will be placed into how this person’s response affects you.
THE STRENGTH: This person is often driven to rise above a difficult past and is not crippled by struggles and failures the way others are. They tend to be braver when it comes to re-attempting that which they want but have struggled to obtain. This person also can be a great driver to help others realize when their situations are both fixable and a product of their own actions and behaviors.
4. Being Hot-Tempered
THE FLAW: We all know people who can fly off the handle at the same stimuli others take in stride. It can be a serious personality flaw as they make things awkward for others in the room, hurt people’s feelings, spark anger and resentment in those they care most about, and have continually lowering self-esteem as they find themselves steaming again and again. They can easily become bullies and manipulators to those who struggle to stand up for themselves.
THE STRENGTH: Sometimes anger is needed to fix situations where nothing else will work. There are many who will take advantage of anyone who has a hard time speaking up for themselves or calling people out. Hot-tempered people actually do a lot to help keep a balance in this world of people who would otherwise steamroll everyone in their paths. This balance is why such passive people are often attracted to hot-tempered people. If the person with this flaw can learn to channel that hot-headedness into productive means, incredible changes can happen where they otherwise wouldn’t. Bullies and manipulators can be shut down. Businesses, bosses, and politicians can be kept more accountable. Good anger is productive anger, and every hot-tempered person has the ability to channel their anger and turn it into one of their greatest strengths.