It’s official!

I didn’t want to jinx things by mentioning this before it was officially official, so I didn’t. But this morning marked the one-year milestone from when I was first handed a key card to the underground parking garage at my apartments.

Since then I have entered and exited this building (in my car) on average once per day.

From the parking garage, which holds around 50 cars, Noah and I take an elevator to our floor above.

And friends…

It’s official.

I have achieved what seems like it should be a mathematical impossibility.

I have parked in that parking garage daily for one year…

And I have hit the button to bring the elevator down daily for one year…

And never…

No, not even once

Has it ever… been there already when I got there.

“Big deal, Dan.” I can hear it in your thoughts. I don’t care. I think there’s something greater at work. I mean:

My building has four floors. Each floor probably has 25-30 apartments if I had to guess. We’ll just say 30 for math’s sake.

Assuming full occupancy at 30 apartments per floor, that is 120 apartments.

The basement has something like 50 cars in it (I love you, but not enough to get actual counts). Since each tenant is limited to one basement parking spot, it can be assumed that 50/120 residents have cars, almost all of which will come and go daily. That’s 41%.

Now, I don’t always go straight to the basement garage. I often walk places, or go check the mail, or walk Noah out to his waiting mom. I bet around 50% of my trips to the elevator are to the basement. Assuming an identical average pattern for the other tenants, that means 20 out of every 120 (or 1 in 6) uses of the elevator should be to/from the basement parking garage.

I told you. This is crazy shit. Don’t get lost.

Mathematically, shouldn’t that elevator already be at the parking garage level one out of every six times I hit the button?

It’s not like the parking garage is cobwebbed and empty. I see people in it constantly. I often share the elevator. Hell, on many occasions people were approaching its exterior doors when I got down to the garage. Those people got an elevator ready and waiting for them. I know it happens.

Just not to me.

For an entire year now, I have broken the laws of mathematics and defied calculated probability. My middle name has been Variance. I have been nothing short of an anomaly.

One year. Zero out of 365 times hitting that elevator button. Including today.

All 365 times, I listened as the hum of the elevator engines began moving its cables.

All 365 times, I waited, patiently, almost humorously, for the elevator to make its decent.

The last 335 times, I wondered… how is this possible?

That’s all. I’m sure you cared so much.

It’s fascinating, I tell you. Fascinating.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!