I’m not sure how to feel about what just happened. I know that I don’t feel good; that’s for sure.

I’ve been watching Shameless on Netflix. If you haven’t watched it yet, you’re missing out. It’s utter chaos that I can’t seem to look away from, but is such a beautiful look into big city poverty life, and what people do to survive.

Anyway, I’ve been watching half an episode here and an episode there for several months now. I’ve been thoroughly absorbed with every character in that show. I’ve rewatched a couple episodes because they were that good.

There were quite a few seasons listed when I started, with quite a few episodes in each season. I just started the first episode off of someone’s suggestion one day and was so glad I did.

Every time an episode ended, a shortcut to the next episode popped up and I just clicked on it. I thought I had a couple seasons left. Hell, I thought I had several more episodes in the season I was working on. But then… Out of nowhere…

I finished the last episode.

No warning.

No time to brace myself for such a loss.

No mentally preparing myself.

The episode I was watching ended, and a graphic flashed across my screen recommending new shows I could watch. I just stared at it somewhat confused until it hit me. That was the last episode on Netflix.

I really think I went through the five stages of grief.

Denial. No, no, no I thought. This is just a glitch. I went to the episode list and every one of them showed as watched.

Anger. What the hell, Netflix?! No warning? You just gonna end it like that? I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW! I HATE YOU!

Bargaining. I’m so sorry. I don’t hate you. I know it’s not your fault. Please. Please have another season on here, I thought, as I did an unsuccessful Netflix search just to make sure I wasn’t missing something.

Depression. I’ll never find a show like that again. Ever.

Acceptance. I haven’t gotten to this stage yet. Right now I’m just sad. I feel like I didn’t just lose the show, I lost a lot of characters I have grown to care very much about.

What’s funny is, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. It happened when I watched all the seasons of Friends. I had no idea I was watching the series finale until it was over. I was just as befuddled and saddened then as I am now.

Ugh. Surely I’m not the only one who has experienced this. I am so (unexpectedly) emotionally twisted that I made up a word for it.

Definition - Upsetflixed

Yep. Right now I am upsetflixed. Big time.

Oh, well. I guess I’ll go watch an episode of New Girl. Jess always cheers me up. But not as much as Schmidt.

Dan Pearce