There I was, kicking ass in life. Finally.
2017 came creeping in, and I did everything right. I did fitness right. I did my goals right. I did eating right. I did working right. I did fatherhood right.
I planned. I plotted. I positively schemed. I setup. I got going. I got moving.
Yep, there I was. Kicking ass in life. Finally. The year was gonna be mine. Everything was gonna go in all the right ways.
Then some figurative little twerp set a big ol’ kidney stone on the train track, and derailed ALL OF IT in an instant.
With one unexpected whazam in life, I was more or less bedridden for the next nine days straight. I couldn’t exercise. The motivation to eat well slipped away. Working was difficult, since the meds made looking at any screen too long a nauseating experience. The stent they ran through my innards kept me down and in pain. I had to skip some of my time with my son, something I just don’t do.
And there I was, suddenly getting my ass kicked by life.
This winter has been pretty good as my seasonal depression goes. I’ve kept on top of it and kept the monstrosity of it at bay. Even through crazy winter storms and ridiculously cold temperatures, I haven’t let the drabness of a near sunless world get me down.
Today it all got to me. It hit me. And it hit me hard.
A big venture I’ve poured myself into seemed to disintegrate all at once this morning. I’ve still got a week with this stent, which means no intense exercise for me. I keep walking in the kitchen with the intention of eating something heathy and awesome, but walking out with a handful of crackers, or something that was in a wrapper, or some frozen something heated-up pretending to be food.
Every year there is some trigger. There is the one moment or the one day that sets free the seasonal depression, and it becomes almost impossible to climb out of it. I felt that trigger pull today.
But you know what?
Not this year.
It’s been a long week and a half, but it was only a week and a half ago that I looked in the mirror, and… There I was. Kicking ass in life.
So, my body filled-up with rocks. Boohoo. I got stuck in bed. Boohoo. I ate unhealthy things. Boohoo. My new venture fell apart. Boohoo. The doctor said I can’t do the Tough Mudder. Boo friggin’ hoo.
What does any of that have to do with kicking ass in life between now and bedtime? What does any of it have to do with kicking ass tomorrow, or the rest of the week?
I can always start some new venture tomorrow. I can get the heck out of the house and go for a short walk in the morning. I can wake up and go cook myself a hot bowl of steaming delicious oatmeal. I can go to bed tonight and think about what amazingness I have in life, instead of what isn’t working. I can fall asleep with thoughts of gratitude instead of with thoughts of gloom.
I can sit in front of my energy light. I can go tanning. I can learn something new. I can plan a trip. I can be silly and flirt with girls on dating apps. I can do all sorts of things to keep kicking ass in life.
Not starting tomorrow.
Starting fifteen minutes ago, when I sat down to write this blog post.
Life is good, friends. Life is good. Seasonal depression is not gonna take me down this year. I am not going to be derailed by a little pebble in my body. I am not going to stop putting in the effort to kick ass until the world gets warmer and makes it easier. Not this year.
I don’t care how colorless and cold the world is for the moment; there is all sorts of love flowing through it. I swim through those warm currents often. I am valued, wanted, respected, and I am definitely loved.
Yep. Life isn’t kicking my ass. I’m kicking ass in life. Even with a derail like this, I’m still kicking ass in life.
Join me. Let’s help each other kick ass between now and spring. Let’s lift each other up a lot more. Let’s ditch the drama online. Let’s be positive, and optimistic, and sing kumbaya, and give each other high fives, and spread goodness wherever we walk, or sit, or type. Let’s pull the sticks out of our asses so that we can all kick some serious ass.
Sometimes, just as is true for me now vs 20 minutes ago, the only difference between kicking ass in life, and getting our asses kicked by life, is a few right thoughts, followed by a few right words, all aimed in a beautifully right direction.
Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog