Privacy Invading Weirdo Perv Dog

See this?

It’s a photo I snapped of Yeti. Cute, right?

I guess so. If you’re into privacy invading weirdo perv dogs.

That slice of flesh you see in the corner is part of my fully neckid body as I sat atop my porcelain throne…

I don’t know how or why, but Yeti always can sense when I’m naked, and he always comes to find me.

Sometimes he’ll go hours plopped and napping in his favorite corners, or sitting out watching the hustle and bustle of the city from the balcony. I see neither hide nor hair of his shaggy face. Then, as soon as my clothes come off or I find myself in a compromised position, somehow I always look up and there he suddenly is.

Sitting. Watching. Staring.

See that glass shower door behind him? Yeah, he loves to plop in front of it and just watch in awe as I lather and rinse. I feel like I’m putting on a full blown peep show just for him every time I forget to close the bathroom door all the way.

Last week, he nudged the shower door open while I was lathering my head with shampoo. I didn’t see him do it; my eyes were clamped shut. I assure you I did feel his sudden cold shnoz make contact with my nethers, though. I shrieked like an injured rabbit when he did it. “My no-nos! Not your no-nos!” I scolded him as I shoved him out and closed the shower door again. “Give me my privacy.”

He didn’t. “Privacy shmivacy,” I’m pretty sure I heard him say as he plopped back down again, and continued staring at me through his suddenly wet bangs, which I feel like I need to keep super long. You know. Just to keep him only seeing half of all the things I’d rather he not be seeing.

Yep. Privacy invading weirdo perv dog. That’s my Yeti.

Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!