How Much Wood Could Chucky & Woody the Woodchucks Chuck?

Whew. It took me three full days to write and memorize this whole thing, and then only about 80 or so takes to get it (close to) flawless. So now the questions is… Can you keep up? I’ve included the full text below.

This was born while Noah and I were on a walk with our dog, which is when we came up with Chucky the Woodchuck and Woody the Woodchuck. From there we started thinking of hilarious ways to add them into the classic tongue twister. Then, I couldn’t help but turn the whole thing into something a lot more, ummmmm, meaningful.

By the way, I won’t be sharing it on my Facebook page until next week, but all you most diligent blog followers get it early.

Here’s the full text if you wanna try it yourself:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This is a question I’ve heard asked ever since I was a kid, and there’s only one answer I’ve ever heard that seemed to makes any sense at all, and that’s that a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

But see, I’ve been watching Woody the woodchuck. And I’ve been watching Chucky the woodchuck. And now I just have more questions. Like…

How much wood could Chucky the woodchuck chuck if Chucky the woodchuck could just chuck more wood?

And how much wood would Woody the woodchuck chuck if Woody the woodchuck would just chuck more wood?

You see…

Woody the woodchuck could always chuck more wood than Chucky the woodchuck could.

And Chucky the woodchuck would always chuck more wood than Woody the woodchuck would.

Which makes me wonder…

Why would Woody the woodchuck not just chuck wood like Chucky the woodchuck would chuck wood?

And why would Chucky the woodchuck always chuck more wood than Woody the woodchuck would, when Chucky the woodchuck knew that Woody the woodchuck could chuck more wood?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood…
And if each woodchuck would just chuck as much wood as that woodchuck could…

Wouldn’t Woody the woodchuck want to chuck at least as much wood as Chucky the woodchuck would? Especially when Woody the woodchuck knew he could chuck more wood than Chucky the woodchuck ever could?

And if these two woodchucks could indeed chuck wood…

And at this point, I tend to think they could…

Wouldn’t Chucky the woodchuck want Woody the woodchuck to chuck more wood, so that Chucky the woodchuck (who could never chuck as much wood as Woody the woodchuck could) not always chuck more wood than Woody the woodchuck would?

I mean…

If Chucky the woodchuck could chuck more wood than Woody the woodchuck could, it would make sense for Chucky the woodchuck to be chucking more wood than Woody the woodchuck was chucking.

But since Woody the woodchuck could always chuck more wood than Chucky the woodchuck could…

Woody the woodchuck should definitely be chucking more wood than Chucky the woodchuck was chucking.

And that makes me really wonder…

Would Chucky the woodchuck chuck less wood if Woody the woodchuck would just chuck as much wood as Chucky the woodchuck knew Woody the woodchuck could?

And would Woody the woodchuck chuck more wood if Chucky the woodchuck just wouldn’t chuck as much wood as Woody the woodchuck knew Chucky the woodchuck would.

Those are really tough questions to answer. What I know is this.

Woody the woodchuck showed us that just because a woodchuck can chuck wood, doesn’t mean a woodchuck will always chuck as much wood as that woodchuck could.

And Chucky the woodchuck has shown us that some woodchucks will always chuck as much wood as those woodchucks possibly could.

So, if each woodchuck can only chuck as much wood as that woodchuck can chuck…

And each woodchuck will only chuck as much wood as that woodchuck is willing to chuck…

And obviously every woodchuck won’t always chuck as much wood as that woodchuck can chuck…

Then I think it’s wrong when people say a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Hm.

I don’t think we’ll ever have a definitive answer as to how much wood a woodchuck would chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Because…

Just like people, woodchucks are all different.

Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog