Shhhh. What’s the matter?” I said as she wound up for punch number two. Again she swung, this time missing as I stepped out of the way.

She didn’t say another word, but immediately marched out of the room and down the hallway that led to my parents’ bedroom door. I sighed. So much for sliding in under the radar.

Pound. Pound. Pound. “Mom! Dad!” she screamed. “Mom! Dad!”  Keep in mind, this was a grown woman, older than I.

I didn’t know what to do. I thought of just ducking out the back door with my friends and disappearing, but before I could, I heard Mom’s voice. “What is it?”

“Dan came home with tons of friends and he’s trying to kick me out of the room!” she was screech-crying as she blurted it out.

“Dan!” Mom called me forth.

I turned to Janice and Shandy who were doing their best to blend into the wall behind them. “Shit,” I murmured and I made my way toward the ridiculous mayhem unfolding.

It was dark, but I could see that Mom’s door was cracked open and her head was poking out from behind. She was obviously still in her underwear and had no intentions of putting on a robe to deal with her two adult kids fighting in the middle of the night. “What’s going on?” she tiredly snapped.

Tomi repeated, word for word, exactly what she had screech-cried moments earlier. “Dan came home with tons of friends and he’s trying to kick me out of the room!”

I interrupted before Mom could reply. “Oh, and did she tell you that she just punched me in the stomach as hard as she could?” I demanded.

Mom gave me the same murderous look Tomi Ann had given me in the theater. “Dan, get your friends and go. You know better than to…”

I interrupted her. I honestly didn’t care about Tomi Ann punching me, but I did care about the injustice of what was unfolding. “Did you hear me, Mom? Tomi Ann just punched me, and hard! I asked her nicely to…” Keep in mind, I was a grown-ass man.


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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!