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As Clean as Cold Water Can Get Them

coldwaterHahaha. Got this in my email. Too funny not to pass on…

Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a film like substance on his place, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal”.

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry was concerned about the plates as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you worry, I don’t want to hear another word about it”.

Later that afternoon, as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass. Larry yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, ‘COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YEH HERE ME!!!”

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

37 comments
Katherine Stephens Dattilo
Katherine Stephens Dattilo

Makes me think of one that my mom sent me a long time ago, as follows" A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, whom he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. “Were these dishes EVER washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. “She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.” He felt quite apprehensive, but not wanting to offend, blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious, and he said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, “Here, Soap! Here, Water!”

Lyndsi Cavanagh
Lyndsi Cavanagh

My mother insisted you could get greasy pans and dishes clean using cold water *shudder*

Enid Williams
Enid Williams

I like how the ad under this was for Culligan -- "clean cold water" :D

Christine Rock
Christine Rock

We had a neighbour on the farm, who "pretended" to let his dog clean the plates....he then proceeded to put the dishes back in the cupboard - I hear tell it had something to do with a particular local fellow that used to conveniently show up just as dinner was being put on the table...

Katrina Croy
Katrina Croy

I've heard a similar story but it was a cat named "Seven Waters" (or something like that).

Anon
Anon

Yuck!  I've always heard it told with two dogs, one named Soap and the other Water...still yucky!  Thanks for the laugh, though.  I needed it!

RobertSicocan
RobertSicocan

My sister used to swear to me that our dog's mouth was cleaner than anything and would share her food off her forks and spoons with our dog then eat more. It always grossed me out!

Sara Kemp
Sara Kemp

Oh gross. Lol, dog slobber is my 'pet' peeve

Brian Davis
Brian Davis

Yeah, that's an old one. But good one. I think about it any time some one says cold water. I always chime in "as clean as cold water can get it" no one else seems to get it, but makes me laugh.

Wayne Mcanalley
Wayne Mcanalley

So you know, it is day time on Wednesday afternoon in Australia so perfect time for us, as well as though over the pond.

KatarinaDobrick
KatarinaDobrick

Cute.....mom and I always joke about my dog Missy being the dishwasher, lol....even though I know a dog's mouth is supposed to be really clean I very rarely let her lick a plate and if she does, it doesnt matter because all dishes are always washed in the hottest water possible, Im a little bit of a germaphobe, lol.

Jean Behunin Kay
Jean Behunin Kay

I heard this same story when I was a little girl!!! About 50 years ago! Believe it or not, very time I do the dishes this story comes to mind!!! :)

lululizzie32
lululizzie32

Sick nasty! Dogs make great prewashers but the dishwasher sanitizes!

Christie Morrow
Christie Morrow

I let my pups pre wash the dishes sometimes ;) Then they are promptly put into the dishwasher on the deep clean setting!

Brenda Hiemstra
Brenda Hiemstra

Funny- my neighbor and I were just saying this to his granddaughter the other day! LOL

Becca Babolian
Becca Babolian

I've heard a similar joke, but the dog's name was Three Rivers. Still funny!

RevBj
RevBj

@Christie Morrow the dogs or the dishes?  ;)