You Then Ain't Much Different Than You Now

No Second Date For You!

What is the most odd, funny, horrifying, or weird thing you've discovered about someone you were on a date with? I asked, you answered.

Wow… THAT is embarrassing

I asked a simple question here on the Facebook wall: what was your most embarrassing moment. Here are some of your eye-squintingly amazing responses.

Your Dad Was Right

On Single Dad Laughing's Facebook Page, I asked the question "what was the best advice your father ever gave you that you really didn't want to believe?" The responses were fantastic, brilliant, funny, and downright awesome! Enjoy...Oh, and don't try and click like on the individual responses. These are just screen captures! Unless, that is, you enjoy clicking on things that don't actually do anything. What was the best advice your father ever gave you that you really didn't want to believe? What was your favorite response above?Dan Pearce, Single Dad LaughingSDL's Quote of the Day "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." ~Charles Wadsworth

Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who’s Single

En EspañolWell, once again I asked you for some awesome material for a blog post, and you delivered! The question I put on the Facebook Wall for today's post was, "What are the things people say to single people that are rude or ignorant?" A lot of awesome answers came through. Enjoy (along with my own and some of your slightly snarky retorts).So, why are you single? Ummm, maybe because I don't shower and I hate puppies. Just have fun with it! Thank you. You've just solved all my problems. I was purposefully NOT having fun with it. Have you tried online dating? didn't work so I guess my next move is Craigslist. It just wasn't meant to be. Thank you. I've been hoping to find somebody who knows the complete plans of the universe. So tell me, all knowing, who IS meant to be? It will happen when you least expect it. How can I expect it less than never? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Thank you...

You said WHAT to your kid? #2

En EspañolOn Single Dad Laughing's Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure.We don't stick things in people's butts, honey. Your arms are definitely long enough to wipe your own bottom. When we poo in the toilet it stays there! We don't fish it out to show daddy! You cannot have anymore of my broccoli until you finish your french fries! We do not chew gum found on the underside of tables! Why on earth would you pee on your brother? Emma, do NOT feed your boogers to your sister. We do not put peeps in the microwave, put toothpicks in them, watch them joust, and eat the one that doesn't blow up. We do not put mommy's lipstick in our bellybutton. We do NOT put our naked...

Your kid… traumatized.

Sometimes the comments that come in after a post are far better than the post itself. I'd say the "Noah's Traumatization" post definitely fits into that category. The following "traumatizations" were stories that you submitted in the comments of that post or via email.I stuck a dried pea up my nose when I was little. My neighbor's kid stuck a Light-Bright peg up his nose. My sister once had a pinto bean stuck in her ear. She claimed she was doing a magic trick for our brothers. My daughter stuck an M&M up her nose. She came into the room and kept saying her nose hurt. Blue stuff was dripping from her nose. It took forever for her to blow it out, and she then wanted to eat the M&M. My four year old stuck a HUGE nerd candy up his nose and it started to melt in there, burning the inside of his nostril. My daughter stuck a polly pocket shoe up...

You said WHAT to your kid? #1

On SDL's Facebook page, I posted a simple question on Monday. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure.Because I said so. Please don't lick your sister! If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? No No! We don't eat poop! Please stop licking the TV! Please take your hand out of your bum. Me: "Because isn't an answer." My daughter: "Why?" Me: "Because." Don't use your brother as a stepping stool. Stop playing with your brother's penis! Stop eating your spinach and eat the rest of your dinner! Don't pee on the dog! No, I'll pick my own nose, thanks. We don't brush our teeth with toilet water! No sitting on the table without pants! Exactly how did you manage to bite your tongue in half... lengthwise? I hope when you grow up you have a child that...

Kids Uncensored

A little while back, I asked you on Twitter and Facebook "what is the funniest thing you've ever heard a kid say?"Here are your responses, uncensored and unedited, all just as innocent as the children who said them! More than 900 responses came in. Plenty to last us for at least a "few" yearsposts here on Single Dad Laughing.A kindergartner told me that her grandma was a magician for a living. I asked about it and she said "Yes, she started because of the eyes in the back of her head and has been into magic ever since." She was wide-eyed and dead serious. "I almost died. Next time, I'll hold it." "Mommy, you have big pimples and I have little pimples" my son said as he pointed to his chest. Girl: "My daddy's an underwriter." Me: Oh yes? And what does an underwriter do? girl: *shrugs* "He writes on unders?" (underwear) When my 3-year old described the election as "a brown Daddy and...

Old people say the wisest things #2

Time for some more advice from the people who have been around long enough that we should all probably listen. The following quotes were taken from your replies on Facebook when I asked "What's the wisest piece of advice you've ever gotten from an old person?" If you missed the first post in this series, click here to read it."Well, that makes just about as much sense as two pennies lookin' for change." "Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must." "There's never been a grudge that made any sense at all when staring at your own coffin." "You can spend your life chasin' money, or you can spend your life chasin' your wife around the living room. In the end, would you rather remember feeling like you never had enough or would you rather remember feeling like you had everything in the world?" "Forgive, but don't you dare forget." "The best friends you could ever have, you can count on one hand... unfortunately,...

Old people say the wisest things

A few weeks ago, I put together a post from your Facebook comments called, Grandmas say the darndest things. It was a lot of fun, and I'll definitely be putting together more of them in the future. On Monday I asked a different question. "What's the wisest piece of advice you've ever gotten from an old person?" More than 600 of you replied with something awesome.Unfortunately, I can only use so many of them today. But, just like the other post, if you like this one I have plenty of content for future editions as well.With that, enjoy the first edition of Grandparents say the wisest things, at least 3,000 years in the making."Sometimes you have to whisper in order to be heard." "Bring children up the way they are bent." About worrying: "Don't cry over tears that haven't even started to form." "Don't wait until you are 50 to wear red with purple." "Never ask a question you're not ready to hear the...

Grandmas say the darndest things

As a word of warning, I've tried to keep this post as clean as possible, but there are a lot of things said by "old" people that might be a little "off-color". If that will offend you, come back tomorrow! As for me, there aren't a lot of things I find funnier.But what does it mean to be old? I suppose it's a definition that slides further away as the seconds of our lives turn into years and then into decades. I know some twenty-year-olds who think I'm a dinosaur. I also know some seventy-somethings that love to point out the generation above them who are still kickin' it and hittin' it. I will say this... the older I get, the more I believe in the common sentiment "you're only as old as you feel".A couple days ago, I posted a simple question on the SDL Facebook page that asked, "what is the funniest thing you've ever heard an...

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