Humor

How Much Wood Could Chucky & Woody the Woodchucks Chuck?

Woody and Chucky the Woodchucks
Whew. It took me three full days to write and memorize this whole thing, and then only about 80 or so takes to get it (close to) flawless. So now the questions is... Can you keep up?

When Karma Made Me Pay $51 to My Kid For Trying to Dupe Him

This is the story of how I just tried to dupe my kid in the name of teaching him a valuable lesson, and instead karma got me good. Karma got me $51 good...

My 24 Favorite Tinder Screenshots From My 3 Years on Tinder

I've been saving my favorite Tinder screenshots for 3 years now, and I think it's time I start sharing some of the hilarious and awesome ones with all of you.

The Aging Giant Who Weighed 1/8th of a Ton

Not a whole lot of people can say they know what it's like to look over the tops of trees or weigh-in at a fraction of a ton. But people like that do exist, and I'm living proof.

Privacy Invading Weirdo Perv Dog

See this? It's a photo I snapped of Yeti. Cute, right? I guess so. If you're into privacy invading weirdo perv dogs...

Yet Another (Ahem) Epic First Date

woman with credit card and spending problems
Not every first date is a winner, but this one was... A convicted felon fresh out of prison, a crazy gold digger, and apparently running from a loan shark who wanted to hurt her...

Say Hey to Yeti, the Dumdumbest Sweetie Dog

Dan Pearce with Goldendoodle Dog
Say hey to Yeti, the dumdumbest sweetie dog you ever did meet, and the newest member of our bachelor pad. He ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, as he proves to us every single day...

So… Apparently, I Painted This in My Sleep

I slept so long, but woke up so tired. And then I found *this* in my phone. Apparently I painted it in my sleep? Ambien strikes again!

What I LOVE About Running at Near-Zero Temperatures

dan pearce running winter
I loathe running with all my desperately pumping heart, but decided now was the time to learn to love it: dead of winter, 2017. And this is what I ended up loving about it.

The wild bear and me. It’s cool. You can call me an idiot…

You may call me an idiot after seeing this photo of me and a black bear in the wild. It's okay. I most definitely was one. But... *worth* it!

An Ode to Summer (Finally) Ending

As I lay here hiding in my bedroom, rocking to and fro, trying not to go absolutely nuts, I ended up writing this poem about summer and what it's like to be a parent!

The 12 Weirdest & Coolest Things I’ve Seen on Amazon

The Coolest and Weirdest Products on Amazon
I've kept a list of the weirdest and coolest things I've found on Amazon. These are my top 12. And I plead the fifth as to whether I've bought some of these.

Our Cleavage Police Poetry Jam

I had such high intentions of writing a blog post this morning, but instead I got sucked into an epic "Cleavage Police Poetry Jam" over text with my friends. Enjoy. We sure did.

An Overly Weird Motivation to Keep Going

That's my pal, Emily. She and I started Insanity on Monday together, and we came up with a *really* weird motivation to make sure we never miss a single day...

My Own Terrible Tale of Men, Women, and Bathroom Mixing

This is the *unfortunately* but *oh so fortunately* true story of the only time in my life when I was greatly affected by men and women sharing bathrooms...

Please Tell Me You Didn’t Just… Yermo.

On a recent road trip with my son, a new term was invented, and I told him I would do my best to make it a widely used term...

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My first and last “attempt” to spank my kid

Me, I was a rotten kid. Super rotten teenager. Hopefully only a half rotten adult.Due to my extremely strong will and my vast expertise...

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Our Little Sky Lantern Fiasco

You know how sometimes things just get out of control in a hurry? Yeah. This moment in time brought to you by this dad's sheer stupidity...

Scrooge You!

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