You said WHAT to your kid?

You said WHAT to your kid?!

What is something you've said to your child that you NEVER thought you would? Readers sent in their answers and they've had me ROFLMFO ever since.

You said WHAT to your kid?

Time for another HILARIOUS "You said WHAT to your kid?" Guaranteed you'll laugh your face off at the unexpected things some parents have said to their kids.

You said WHAT to your kid?

Oh man. You know what we haven't done in FAR too long? A "You said WHAT to your kid?" post. Am I right? Today I'm just in the mood to laugh my butt off, how about you? Some time ago, on Single Dad Laughing’s Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. “What is something you’ve found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. All just as innocent as the moments that made them. Today's list comes 100% from the comments left on previous "You said WHAT to your kid?" posts. Stop licking your brothers butt. I don't care if the cup fits in the toilet- you may not drink the water! No honey! we don't play with skulls. I don't care if you don't like it, I'm getting that booger out of there! Just because you have one,...

You said WHAT to your kid? (#5)

On SDL's Facebook page, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. You cannot ride your sister! Please stop playing with mommy's bottom. We don't pee on animals or people. Please stop dancing like a stripper! Stop brushing your hair with the toilet brush. We don't dance while we're eating pickles. Cat's have whiskers for a reason. Please don't cut them off. It's wrong to give mommy a wedge. Put that squirrel down! Where did you get that?! Honey, we don't choke our cousin. Keep it up and you won't get to read tonight! Yes, we have to wear pants while guests are over. We do not put our private parts on the kitty! Don't pick your nose with your toes. If you eat your booger again, it's going to be all you get for snack! Why...

You said WHAT to your kid? #4

Since Noah and I are away on vacation, thought I'd post another edition of You said WHAT to your kid?  On SDL's Facebook page awhile back, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would?" The answers that came in (and have come in since) have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure, all as innocent as the moments that made them. I brought you into this world, I can take you out! Honey, don't put your crayons in the peanut butter. Spit out that dog food! We don't paint with our noses! Is it really necessary for you to bring your ice cream in the bathroom with you while you poop? Stop putting the cat in the shower! Son: Mom, soda just came out my nose! Me: Was it Coke or Sprite? Son: Sprite! Me: Here's a napkin. You'll be fine. Coke...

You said WHAT to your kid? #3

On SDL's Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure, as innocent as the moments that made them. Next time you decide to wipe your bum with my toothbrush, please tell me before I use it. We don't blow up the "balloons" that are in Mommy and Daddy's nightstand! Get your finger out of my butt. Right now. You're grounded from reading for the rest of the day. Now go play! Why is there a potato in your underwear? No, I won't help you get it out. Once you stick it up there, you have to wait until you go to the bathroom again. I don't know why those dogs are stuck together like that... Look over there at that cool cow! No, there is not a watermelon in...

You said WHAT to your kid? #2

En EspañolOn Single Dad Laughing's Facebook Page, I posted a simple question. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. We don't stick things in people's butts, honey. Your arms are definitely long enough to wipe your own bottom. When we poo in the toilet it stays there! We don't fish it out to show daddy! You cannot have anymore of my broccoli until you finish your french fries! We do not chew gum found on the underside of tables! Why on earth would you pee on your brother? Emma, do NOT feed your boogers to your sister. We do not put peeps in the microwave, put toothpicks in them, watch them joust, and eat the one that doesn't blow up. We do not put mommy's lipstick in our bellybutton. We do NOT put our naked...

You said WHAT to your kid? #1

On SDL's Facebook page, I posted a simple question on Monday. "What is something you've found yourself saying to a child that you never thought you would? The answers that came in have had me rolling on the floor ever since. Here are a few of them for your uninhibited laughing pleasure. Because I said so. Please don't lick your sister! If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? No No! We don't eat poop! Please stop licking the TV! Please take your hand out of your bum. Me: "Because isn't an answer." My daughter: "Why?" Me: "Because." Don't use your brother as a stepping stool. Stop playing with your brother's penis! Stop eating your spinach and eat the rest of your dinner! Don't pee on the dog! No, I'll pick my own nose, thanks. We don't brush our teeth with toilet water! No sitting on the table without pants! Exactly how did you manage to bite your tongue in half... lengthwise? I hope when you grow up you have a child that...

Popular right now:

The CURE for “Perfection”

Please note that this is a follow-up to another post. If you haven't read The disease called "Perfection", please do that first. It will change...

Dan's Suggested Reads:

The Weirdest Flight Probably EVER

Any singular part of that plane ride would have made it a craptastic plane ride. For sure. But collectively? Gosh... Worst and funniest plane ride EVER.

All-Time Top SDL Posts