Single Dad Laughing by Dan Pearce You! Keep being awesome! Tue, 27 Jan 2015 07:02:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 What the {GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE}… Tue, 27 Jan 2015 07:01:06 +0000 awaking




“Baby, can you get that?” she said it so sweetly from somewhere miles away.

Mmph. “I’m trying.”

I swatted ferociously at the nightstand, discombobulated, mostly dead.


Continue reading: What the {GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE}…

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Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 36 Mon, 26 Jan 2015 07:01:27 +0000 truth box

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 36

Continue reading: Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 36

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Bigotry, Intolerance, and “Morality” Thu, 22 Jan 2015 20:46:13 +0000 bigotry-intolerance-morality-dan-pearce

I’m doing a video blog today because… GO ME! Last night I dropped my hot, drippy, peanut butter and honey toast face down on my computer keyboard and it’s not much fun to use at the moment. Hahaha.

Anyway, this is a topic I’ve really been wanting to talk about for a while now: bigotry, intolerance, and the concept of “morality.” And how those three things are so friggin’ connected

Continue reading: Bigotry, Intolerance, and “Morality”

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When the World Finally Goes Dark Wed, 21 Jan 2015 08:31:23 +0000 quiet

Ding ding.

That’s the sound my text messages make every time one comes in. Which is often.

Bongy Dong.

That’s the sound my computer makes when an email comes through. Which is ridiculously frequently.

♫ “Oooh oooh oooooh oooooh.” 

That’s the song my phone plays when someone calls. Which is just often enough.

Boop boop!

That’s the sound  it makes when I get a notification on Facebook whether I’m in a web browser or not.

Dun duh doo dennnn

Continue reading: When the World Finally Goes Dark

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Social Media’s Perfect Manicure Wed, 21 Jan 2015 04:14:41 +0000 Today I shared My Old Friend, The Disease Called “Perfection” with all of you. The comments left on that blog post so far have been powerful to say the least.

This video is from Jill Tarnoff, a fellow member of the SDLHC. She made it and shared it on her own Facebook page after reading the blog post, and it touched me so much that I really wanted to share it with all of you. Such important words. Such a powerful spirit. Thank you, Jill!

Also, if you missed it, be sure to check out the blog post from this morning.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughingthoughts-on-perfection

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My Old Friend, The Disease Called “Perfection” Tue, 20 Jan 2015 07:01:08 +0000 Friends,

I feel I need to admit something to myself and to all of you. I have been struggling with some inner demons, friends. I have been really struggling. With so many things. And it seems that at the root of it all is my old friend, that nasty little disease called “Perfection.”

Only about a thousand or so of you were around when I first wrote and shared The Disease Called “Perfection.” I’m assuming most of you have never seen it.

This disease, which I once thought I had beaten, has crept back into my life with so much force lately. I might write more about what’s been going on in the next day or two. Might not. But right now, I need to remind myself what an awful disease “Perfection” really is because I do not like where my mind has taken me lately.

The Disease Called “Perfection” was the first thing I ever wrote that made me sit and blubber as I connected to something brutally honest within. More than four years have passed since I first hesitantly published that blog post. Today, I for some reason went back to it as I attempted to make good with my current struggles. I read it several times and soon found myself editing it, and adding to it, and tweaking it, and taking away from it. I am sharing what it turned into with all of you from a place equally dolorous for me (albeit different in nature). Parts of this version include what I have seen and learned the last few years.



As a warning, I am sharing the following words in complete desperation. I have recently learned some very sobering and never-expected truths from people whom I love dearly. These truths have set in motion a quest within me to do whatever I can to make a change. Today is not geared at funny or snarky. Today is geared at something much greater. Please read this to the end.

I have to wonder. Am I the only one aware that there is an infectious mental disease laying siege on so many of us right now? Somehow, a serious pandemic of “Perfection” is spreading, and it needs to stop. Hear me out because this is something for which I have passionately and constantly hurt for most of the 34 years of my life. It is a sickness that for so many years I tried to put into words without much success. It is a sickness that I have personally struggled with more than I have ever let on. It is a sickness that at times has left me hiding in dark corners and often hating myself.

And chances are, somehow, it has infected and affected each of you in some (or many) ways, too.

What is the disease called “Perfection”? Perhaps a list of its real-life symptoms will help us all better understand it.

We live in communities where people feel unconquerable amounts of pressure to always appear perfectly happy, perfectly functional, and perfectly figured. “Perfection” is much different than perfectionism. The following examples of “Perfection” are all real examples that I have collected from experiences in my own life, from confidential sources, or from my circle of loved ones and friends. If you actually stop to think about some of these, you will probably feel so much of what I have felt as I write about them. I have been left with wet eyes so many times as I’ve done so.



“Perfection” is a wife who feels trapped in a marriage to a lazy, angry, small man, but at soccer practice tells the other wives how wonderful her husband always is. “Perfection” keeps people from telling the truth, even to themselves. My husband is adorable. He called me a whore this week because I smiled at a stranger. When I started crying, he said he had a game to go watch. I just love him so much.

Continue reading: My Old Friend, The Disease Called “Perfection”

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Three Awesomely Funny Moments This Week Fri, 16 Jan 2015 19:34:36 +0000 It’s Friday. I hope everyone has amazing plans this weekend that don’t involve sitting inside praying that the cold and the icky air go away.

I like to jot down the funny moments I have so that I always have something funny to go back to when I need a laugh. Sometimes I share them with you all. Anyway, I had three awesomely hilarious moments this week, and one super heart-warming moment…

Moment #1: At my weekly poker night, my buddy Rob made one of his usual smart-ass remarks about what a tool I am because I post occasional workout pics on my social networks. You all remember the reason why I think it’s important we all post those a lot more. Rob owns a boxing gym. He’s a fitness dude. So I love to take workout selfies and send them to him and just to him since it’s turned into such a long running joke between us.

Anyway… Rob made his usual smart-ass remark, so I snuck into the other room at one point and with lightning speed set the timer on my phone and took this little beauty with the caption: “Don’t mind me. I’m just in here working out. Rob likes to know crap like that.” And I sent it to every single person at the table.


Moment #2: I went to the post office to pick up a package since (grrrr…) I didn’t hear the knock on the door when the postman came.

Side note: what company ships big packages via the post office anymore?

Anyway, I was at the post office, and all I was holding was a tiny little package pick-up slip. The guy in front of me had a giant armful of multiple packages and a big stack of envelopes which I’m assuming he needed to get postage for all separately.

He kept looking at me, then at his armful of stuff, then back at me.

“Is that all you have?” he asked, obviously working on some mental struggle.

“Yeah, just a quick pickup,” I replied.

Again he kept looking at his giant stack. Then to my little pick-up. Then to the one employee working the counter. Then back to his stack. He asked again. “So, just the one thing?”

“Yep!” I was mentally willing him to please let me go in front of him.

Eventually we both reached the front of the line. I’m pretty sure he was sweating as he kept glancing back and forth trying to decide if he should let me go first. The panic as he tried to make this decision was hilarious and he wasn’t committing to it. He obviously was in a big enough hurry that two minutes for me was too much for him. I was rather enjoying it.

Just as I thought he might have an aneurysm, another post office employee walked out and stood at one of the empty stations.

And this is my favorite part…

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“Oh gosh. Many, many years ago…” Thu, 15 Jan 2015 19:37:01 +0000 funny-alcohol-storyI’m purely a social drinker, and would you believe… I didn’t start drinking until I was 30, and wow. Did it ever come with a learning curve when I started.

Now, I’m definitely not one to encourage over-imbibing or dangerous and illegal behavior, but having been there myself a time or ten, I sure as heck love hearing the stories of the times others have been to the same place I was New Years 2011. My favorite is that most drunk stories start with the line, “Oh gosh. Many, many years ago…”

Ah, yes. New Years Eve, 2011. The Fremont Street New Years Eve Party in Las Vegas.

First of all, naive and slightly younger me had no idea that alcohol is served differently in Utah than it is Las Vegas. In fact, naive and slightly younger me, had no idea that the Utah alcohol I had been drinking is barely alcohol at all since Utah has some of the strictest alcohol content and serving laws in the world. Also, naive and slightly younger me had no idea that mixing different types of alcohol had its ways of making one’s brain do cray crazy things. Enough said.

One GIANT margarita later (pictured here from that very night back when I was a well-groomed blondie), a plastic boot full of strawberry daiquiri, and another big something full of something later, things started getting fuzzy.

Long story very short, I woke up with a lot of photos on my phone that were quickly destroyed, and I also woke up with a full-color 16×20 pastel caricature of me and a girl I barely knew, and the $100 receipt for it in my wallet. Because when you’re drunk… well, you know. Cartoons of yourself are important if one is to properly document the night. Hahaha.

Anyway, I was telling that story to a friend the other day and I thought, I wonder if all of you would share your fantastic drunk stories. I posted this to the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall: “Knowing that I might use it in a blog post, what is the stupidest or craziest non-sexual thing you’ve done while drunk?” You did not disappoint! In fact, 1600 of you replied! These were my favorites. And thank you for hours of the best laughs I’ve had in ages!

“Oh gosh. Many, many years ago…”
35 Amazing Tales of Inebriation
  1. “After day drinking all day, I got in a fight with a mom for having her kid in a bar at crazy hours. My boyfriend informed me we were actually at a family pizza parlor and it was only 7pm.” ~Erin
  2. “Exchanged our whole neighborhood’s outdoor furniture with opposite neighbor. Took us about 6 hours…the faces and questions in the neighborhood the next day…PRICELESS! We were only caught 12 years later while someone slipped their tongue amongst a group of our parents. Oh, memories.” ~Melissa
  3. “I tackled a cow.” ~Joe
  4. “I tried to make a military police officer go away by blowing air at him, like one would do with dust.” ~Toni
  5. “I stole a French fry from a couple at a nearby table. I slowly licked it then ate it while maintaining eye contact with the couple. Then slowly walked away… Haha. It was much more hilarious than it sounds…” ~Emily
  6. “I broke my foot running from a skunk that turned out to be a cat. Once I was on the ground, said cat came over to me and meowed until I pet it. Super.” ~Kelsey
  7. “Climbed on a friend’s roof, could not get down, asked another drunk friend to help, he said, “just fall, I will catch you!” 25 years later… he gets semi-regular injections in that shoulder, and I have an irrational fear of low-slung roofs. Still friends, though!” ~James
  8. “Many years ago (emphasis on many, as the statute of limitations has run out) my roommates and I decided it would be awesome fun to steal a plastic palm tree (two buildings over, no less!) in the hallway of our apartment complex. The next day, after asking ourselves why we were in possession of this ugly plant, one of our neighbors told us that another one of the neighbors was extremely pissed off that his potted palm tree had been taken and when he found out who took it, they would be going to jail! After deliberation about returning it or possibly going to jail, we decided, in our 20 year old wisdom, to cut the tree up, and take it out in a couple of laundry baskets (with laundry piled on top of the murdered palm tree) to dispose of it in a dumpster a couple of miles away. Tony Soprano would have been proud.” ~Cindy
  9. “At 3am, current husband and I went to ex-husband’s house and rang the doorbell like crazy until he came to the door half awake. Then we drenched him with super soaker water guns!” ~Rebecca
  10. “Called someone while peeing (no idea why I felt the need to do that)… Fell off the toilet and into the bathtub. Started crying because I thought the toilet had suddenly gotten huge, and I couldn’t get out. My ex-boyfriend found me twenty minutes later sobbing and asking to “please pull me out of the toilet! Please!”  Not my finest moment… and he told my entire family, including my grandmother. Not to mention whoever I was talking to on the phone heard the whole thing…” ~Kate
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Parents. If You Are Smart Enough… Tue, 13 Jan 2015 21:08:11 +0000 Hand in hand

“These millennials are the laziest, most entitled generation in the history of Earth.” ~A real quote by someone I was just talking to a few weeks ago.

“The current generation is growing up and wanting everything now, without having to work for it, and without having to put in the time and energy and dues that their parents did.” ~A real quote I heard on a podcast not 120 minutes ago.

“I need a raise. $4,500 a month is not enough. My wife and I are barely making it.” ~A real quote by one of my employees seven years ago when I owned and managed a therapeutic mattress store. They had no kids. He and his wife were both in their early 20s. His wife had a job, as well.


I run around with a lot of business peeps, and I can tell you that there is a big problem going on. The “I want it fast, and I want it now” syndrome that has crept into our society (sadly by many people even my age) is overwhelming. It’s creating more debt, more difficulties in business, more broken relationships, and more problems than ever before in history.

And it’s true. I used to be in charge of hiring and firing entire teams for a chain of stores. Employee feelings would get so hurt if I demanded good performance from those slacking. Having fun was more important to many of the young people I hired than showing up for work sometimes was, despite their hefty paychecks. Any discipline or correction had to be done with a fire poker padded and painted like rainbows so that they didn’t get their knickers all twisted and leave the company in a lurch. This was a problem with the vast majority of the younger people I hired, and almost never a problem with anyone born before 1980. Ask anyone in business who has to hire millennials. It is a frustration at best.

As parents, something we used to teach our kids got lost in the time span of a single generation. It got worse in the next generation. And it got almost unmanageable in the most recent generation of kids to leave high school and college.

It used to be… Work. Work hard. Earn what you have. Work harder. Earn more. Build a life for yourself

Continue reading: Parents. If You Are Smart Enough…

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I just set a big record. For something ridiculous. Mon, 12 Jan 2015 20:41:32 +0000 shower-victory

What does it say about me if I get so friggin’ excited or bummed-out over the same dumbest thing every friggin’ day?

Does it mean that I’m finally old? Is this all the excitement that getting old entails?

Does it mean that I just don’t seem to have much of a life at all right now that such little things would get my heart going?

Or maybe it means that I’ve completely lost connection with reality. We all know that day is inevitable for me. I don’t know.

What I do know is that this morning… today… I. AM. AWESOME. Beyond awesome. Wanna know why?

See this?


That’s the view of my bathroom every day as I shower. Nothing too spectacular, I know. Mundane even, I suppose. But get this…

Continue reading: I just set a big record. For something ridiculous.

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Hey There, Delilah Thu, 08 Jan 2015 19:40:49 +0000 delilahPoor Delilah. Sitting there all cold and alone, with nothing to keep her company but a 6-month supply of bottled water and a cold steel garage door who gets far more action right now than she does. In fact, the garage door is kind of a jerk to Delilah, always opening just long enough to blast the poor girl with some awful arctic chill. What did she ever do to you G.D.?

What the hell am I even writing about? Hahaha. I don’t know.

Delilah. My 2013 Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail.

It was love at first sight, and when I saw her I had to woo her. I had to win her over. I had to have her. She was exciting and dangerous. She is a constant reminder that if I’m not careful with her, she’ll be the end of me. That’s why I named her Delilah.

I miss her. I don’t know how or why some people still ride their bikes in the wintertime. When I ride, I ride to enjoy long, slow, and mostly empty roads. I ride to disappear into the heat of the sun above while the wind floods through my riding jacket. I ride to forget the world for a moment. Winter riding, and layering deep to keep at bay some horrible wind chill, holds absolutely no appeal to me. Too much effort, there.

What the hell am I even writing about? Hahaha. I still don’t know. I sat down to write about something completely unrelated, but before I did, I went to the garage to grab an ice cold winter-chilled water, and I caught myself longingly looking at Delilah before I came back in. So, she’s on my mind.

It was never really my choice whether to get a motorcycle in my previous life and relationships, so I never did. Any talk of it over the years always ended in my significant other demanding that I would certainly die, and I not having any way to promise them I wouldn’t. It’s true. People die on motorcycles. But it’s rare. And it’s even more rare with a bike as big as mine and a love for going on long, slow, and mostly empty roads like I do.

Finally I drug my longing butt into a Harley-Davidson learners’ school and I took the four-day course where we would learn how to do all sorts of things like… not die.

We practiced on these teeny tiny Buell 500s. I am 6’4”. I am solid. And big. And by the end of that course I had both validated my suspected deep love for riding, and had learned that big guys riding little bikes leads to cramps, and pain, and discomfort, and general bitterness toward the world for their bigotry against giant sexy gorillas like me.

The moment the course was over, and I mean the moment it was over, I walked into the show room, and I started eyeing and sitting on the different Harleys. My entire life I have wanted a Harley. I don’t know why. I had Harley-Davidson posters growing up. My favorite stuffed animal as a kid was this bad-ass boar with tattoos. The words “Harley Hog” were printed on its little pleather jacket. I even took him to college with me. I wonder if he’s still sitting in a box somewhere. I kind of want to go dig through my mom’s storage room and see.

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2015 – The Year We Need to Take Dating Back Tue, 06 Jan 2015 19:02:42 +0000 dating-lonliness-phonesIt is 2015.

We are lonely.

This is not a statement I am deducing on my own, or that I am projecting onto all of you from my own bedfellowing with loneliness. Recent study after study has shown that social networking and this strange new ability to stay digitally connected to other people at all times of the day or night are making us (as individuals within a society) far more lonely than we ever have been in all of history.

For example… I went bowling a little while back with three friends. I hate bowling. I just suck at it. I can’t not throw the ball twenty feet in the air when I bowl. I’m guessing it’s because of my humongous stature and my glorious gorilla arms. But, these three friends wanted to go, so I swallowed my hatred for the sport, and away to the bowling alley we went. These were good friends. Really good friends, actually. And they were also friends I hadn’t hung out with in quite some time so I was pretty excited about seeing them.

About half way through the game, a miracle happened. The heavens opened, light shone down around our lane, some invisible force carried my bowling ball after I gorilla-arm lobbed it through the air, and… a STRIKE! I couldn’t believe it! I realized I might actually break 50 points on that game (if you don’t bowl, that ain’t good, trust me)!

I turned around with hands raised high in the air, ready to receive a first-rate barrage of high-fives just as I had previously been giving to my buddies for every strike knocked down in our game thus far. Instead, all three friends had their faces buried in their phones. No one had seen my strike. No one saw me standing with arms stretched high. Eventually I dropped my arms and kicked one friend in the shoe as I told him, “your turn.”

I was there that night with three close friends. And you know what? I was lonely in that moment. I was lonely most of that night. I am sure all of you have had similar moments recently. I am sure I have been the one buried in my own phone making other people feel lonely while I was absorbed in the far away digital world.

My friends, we are failing to remember the very real people sitting, and laughing, and doing things with us. We have an addiction which makes us chase that which isn’t real while negating that which most definitely is. We feel some sort of amazing rush when 10 people we barely know hit like or comment on pictures of what we’re doing with the people we’re with, than we are with actually doing what we’re doing and enjoying those people while we’re with them! I am not preaching here. I have done it as much as anyone else.

And nowhere is this as prevalent as it is in the dating world right now

Continue reading: 2015 – The Year We Need to Take Dating Back

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My Quarterly Confession Session Mon, 05 Jan 2015 20:01:56 +0000 dan-pearce-confessionThis is my quarterly confession session. Because… Humaning is more fun when we all do it together. Take me or leave me in all of my strange and glorious craziness. Life is good.

Here we go

Continue reading: My Quarterly Confession Session

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Have you all figured out just how friggin’ crazy I am, yet? Fri, 02 Jan 2015 21:56:28 +0000 dan-pearceAs I sat down to type this, I received a text from a good friend telling me how great I’m looking with all of my hard effort. I think that’s what he said anyway. I only saw the first few lines. I purposefully am not reading it because right now my heart is so heavy, my gut is so uneasy, and I want to believe that very little in my life is right at the moment.

Humaning is hard sometimes.

2015 is here. There’s this giant, beautiful, blank slate of an opportunity to start fresh, and make this year whatever I want it to be, and to enjoy the adventure that life takes me on from here. Instead, I cannot stop thinking about how the last year ended. I cannot stop taking the very real pain and feeding that pain until it turns into some silly fear which might not ever let me move forward.

Humaning is hard sometimes.

In 2014 I gave my heart to everything. I really believe I didn’t have anything more than what I gave. I risked so much physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally. I took such big risks. And the year ended so poorly in so many ways. My ass got handed to me at the last Tough Mudder. The love I thought would last a lifetime fell completely apart and I still have not figured out why. Not really. I couldn’t launch a single app before the end of the year after I have invested so much into these apps. And to top it all off, on New Years Eve, I got sucked into the middle of a crazy drama sandwich between two good friends that has just depleted whatever was left on a night when I went out to just let go of life and… be.

The human experience. It sucks sometimes

Continue reading: Have you all figured out just how friggin’ crazy I am, yet?

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2015. My Year of No Goals & No Resolutions! Fri, 02 Jan 2015 00:45:13 +0000 At the beginning of 2014, I made the most fantastic goals of where I wanted my life to be by the end of the year.

I worked my butt off all year long. I gave life my all. And… life took me wherever the hell it wanted to with absolutely no regard for what I wanted. This year did not end up at all how I thought it would, and I’m headed down a very altered path than I was just one year ago.

At the beginning of 2013, I did the same thing. And life didn’t give a flying leap what I set out to do or where I wanted to end up then, either. That year I gave it my all. I worked my butt off. And… there was no resolution to most of my resolutions because life had its own ideas for me.

Let’s see… Looks like it was the same with 2012. Same with 2011. Same with 2010. Same with…

Continue reading: 2015. My Year of No Goals & No Resolutions!

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