Single Dad Laughing by Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com You! Keep being awesome! Wed, 01 Oct 2014 19:56:52 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Maybe Let’s Think Before We Google That http://www.danoah.com/2014/10/maybe-lets-think-before-we-google-that.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/10/maybe-lets-think-before-we-google-that.html#comments Wed, 01 Oct 2014 06:01:30 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46573 funny-google-auto-completes-26These 30 Google Auto-Completes are hilarious proof that we could stand to do a little more thinking on our own, BEFORE we Google for an answer.]]> funny-google-auto-completes-26

Yesterday I had a valid question. How quickly do I need to eat meat after it has been opened? So, I went where else but to Google to find my answer.

I never got to the answer though. Instead, Google told me what I should be looking for…

FIRST SEARCH

What cracks me up is that these auto-complete search terms are based on the most popular searches using the words I type in. I mean, come on. Do you really need to ask Google how often you need to change a poopy diaper? Do you really think Google knows how fast you need to run? Seems we could stand to do a little more thinking on our own, BEFORE we Google for an answer.

Anyhow, that whole thing just got me sucked in to finding funny Google auto-completes, and responding to them with a few questions of my own.

Let’s start with that one again…

FIRST SEARCH

MY QUESTIONS:
How quickly would you want someone to change YOUR poopy diaper if it was out of your control?
How quickly is the bear behind you running?

 

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MY QUESTIONS:
Why don’t you just ask them if they are married?
How close were you if you don’t know how dead they are?
If you know the person, why do you need to meet them on Tinder

Continue reading: Maybe Let’s Think Before We Google That

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The Reason We’re Getting Fatter is Not What We All Think http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-reason-were-getting-fatter-is-not-what-we-all-think.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-reason-were-getting-fatter-is-not-what-we-all-think.html#comments Tue, 30 Sep 2014 06:01:30 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46617 dan-pearce-fitnessI don't think it's the rise in fast food chains, or the move to sedentary jobs. I think it is something else altogether, and I think the answer is simple...]]> dan-pearce-fitness

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Okay. Do you see all of those workout selfies?

Yes, there are TONS of them.

Yes, they are all of me.

Me.

A guy who once tipped the scales at 350 lbs and who now loves this whole get-fit stay-fit world.

And those are only a fraction of all the workout selfies I’ve taken (and shared) the last 10 months or so.

Listen, friends. We have it ALL wrong.

For some reason, as a general population we are scared to post too many photos of ourselves doing AMAZING things on social media, especially in the health and fitness world.

And by AMAZING, I don’t mean reaching the top of Mount Everest, or base jumping from the Sears Tower. I mean the little AMAZING things we do every day, like move our bodies, and making healthy food choices, and being excited for our daily victories.

Goodness gracious. Have you looked at us lately? As a whole, we are getting fatter. And we are getting more unhealthy. And we are getting lazier. And even worse than that… we are teaching our kids this same lethargic lifestyle as we head down the slippery slope to Wall-Eville.

Politicians have fought endlessly about this epidemic and have found no solutions. Incredibly inspiring television shows have not begun to even dent what’s going on. Talk-shows have dissected it, endlessly and unsuccessfully. Bloggers have blogged about it. And nothing has changed. We are still getting heavier per capita, every single year. And I think I know why.

It isn’t the rise in fast food chains on every corner. It isn’t the covers of magazines. It isn’t the fact that the job force has shifted more heavily to sedentary jobs.

No, the problem isn’t any of that

Continue reading: The Reason We’re Getting Fatter is Not What We All Think

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Screaming Babies. On Airplanes. http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/screaming-babies-on-airplanes.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/screaming-babies-on-airplanes.html#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2014 15:58:48 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46876 Crying babyThe airline seated me right next to a screaming baby. And tell me if I'm right, but there is only one thing parents of screaming babies on planes wanna hear...]]> Crying baby

Crying babyEvery Monday I free-write whatever comes to mind.

I can’t promise you quality. I can’t promise you the feels. I can’t promise you anything, really. Except that it will always be raw, it will always be unedited, it will always be all over the place, and it will always be me. Oh, and it will always be done in my pajamas. Always. Because that’s how I roll.

Hmmm. What to talk about today…

How about… I don’t know… ­babies on airplanes?

Last weekend my girlfriend and I hopped on a plane bound for Phoenix. The flight is barely over an hour. And, since we bought last minute tickets, we weren’t sitting together. I was stuffed in a middle seat somewhere back in the back of the plane. She was some ten rows up, in that same middle seat. God, I hate middle seats.

To my right was an icky, icky man. He exuded sexuality. He also exuded the creepy “I kill people in the woods and stew them up with squirrels” look. Still, I tried to talk to him and hear his story. All he wanted to do was tell me how he wished the window was a busty blonde whom he could lean against instead of such boring, cold plastic.

To my left was a new mother. She had a five or six month old on her lap, and she boarded the plane with a look that said, I’m ready for war.

Continue reading: Screaming Babies. On Airplanes.

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This is Beautiful You http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-132.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-132.html#comments Sun, 28 Sep 2014 06:01:09 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46811 beautiful-you-416Every Sunday I take the photos of you and the people you love, and I share them here because, well, I think we're all pretty dang beautiful.]]> beautiful-you-416

Finally, my favorite post of the week!

Every Sunday morning I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall, and I post them here.

I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everyone else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on the awesome people coming here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the community here at SDL. And, more than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each really are.

Thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It’s my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you.

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Continue reading: This is Beautiful You

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Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 35 http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/pulled-from-the-truth-box-week-35.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/pulled-from-the-truth-box-week-35.html#comments Fri, 26 Sep 2014 06:01:26 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46634 Truth BoxRemember. We're all fighting our own great battles. These are the secrets you've never told anyone. And what everyone else believes is the truth.]]> Truth Box

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 35

Continue reading: Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 35

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So, I Fibbed to My Kid… Vol. 2 http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/so-i-fibbed-to-my-kid-vol-2.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/so-i-fibbed-to-my-kid-vol-2.html#comments Thu, 25 Sep 2014 06:01:57 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46628 Woman and little girl sharing a secretI asked the question: "what is the funniest fib you've ever found yourself telling your child?" These were a few of your hilarious replies.]]> Woman and little girl sharing a secret

Woman and little girl sharing a secret

I asked an awesome question to ask over on the SDL Facebook page. “What is the funniest fib you’ve ever found yourself telling your child?”

Anyone who is a parent at all knows what it’s like to throw a random fib out from time to time because… maybe you just don’t want to deal with a half hour beg-fest. Or maybe you just aren’t ready to explain something. Or maybe you know that your child isn’t ready to have something explained. There rare a million reasons why little fibs can be totally legit.

And if there’s anything that I know, it’s that usually those little fibs are HILARIOUS! I stand behind you, fibbing parents, and I laugh with you as we tackle this thing called parenting together.

Here are your replies. Oh, and if you missed the first one, you can catch that here!

Continue reading: So, I Fibbed to My Kid… Vol. 2

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A Friend No Longer Worth Knowing http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/a-friend-no-longer-worth-knowing.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/a-friend-no-longer-worth-knowing.html#comments Tue, 23 Sep 2014 06:01:57 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46799 friend-no-longer-wroth-knowing-1I have this friend. Well, *had* this friend. A close friend. And it's time I say goodbye to this man who has done nothing but hold me back and bring me down...]]> friend-no-longer-wroth-knowing-1

Gah. I am about to break one of my own personal rules. The rule that says, “don’t hang your dirty relationship laundry out for the world to see.” I’m a big believer that you should air that crap out in private. Publicly deriding anyone is usually not cool. But this time I feel that it is warranted for the greater discussion.

You see, I have this friend. Well, had this friend.

But I’ll get to him. First I want to talk about me.

This is me.

dan-pearce-life-is-good

My life has evolved in such amazing ways. It has become almost ridiculously easy for me to push all drama and negativity out of my life in my eternal quest to be happy. When I look in the mirror, I see a strong person. I see a devoted person. I see a faithful person. And more than anything, I see a happy person. I like the person I see in the mirror, and I think I like him most because for the first 32 years or so of my life, I never got to see that person looking back at me.

Part of the road to get here involved leaving behind certain people in my life who were never anything but hindrances to my progression. Some I cut completely out of my life; others I limited my interaction with so that they couldn’t have the same negative effect they once had. I believe the only way anyone can be truly happy is to make these tough choices, fill his life with only the people who are healthy happy parts of that life, and learn how not to fear those separations of ties when they come.

Yes, I believe that with all of my heart.

I also haven’t lived it fully. Until now.

You see, this other friend, who I will call Peter, was the one friend I couldn’t give up on. He was the one friend who I did not want to let go of. He was also the one friend who did more to damage my ability to be happy than anyone else ever has.

Let me tell you about Peter.

This is Peter

Continue reading: A Friend No Longer Worth Knowing

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This is Beautiful You http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-131.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-131.html#comments Sun, 21 Sep 2014 06:01:54 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=35025 beautiful-you-48Every Sunday I take the photos of you and the people you love, and I share them here because, well, I think we're all pretty dang beautiful.]]> beautiful-you-48

Finally, my favorite post of the week!

Every Sunday morning I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall, and I post them here.

I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everyone else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on the awesome people coming here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the community here at SDL. And, more than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each really are.

Thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It’s my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you.

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Continue reading: This is Beautiful You

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Mud, Sweat, and Endless Tears http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/mud-sweat-and-endless-tears.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/mud-sweat-and-endless-tears.html#comments Fri, 19 Sep 2014 06:02:08 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46768 human-ladder-tough-mudder-3When one final woman couldn't make it to the top, one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed took place. And then it was on to the finish line...]]> human-ladder-tough-mudder-3

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY’S STORY, “The Final Muddy Miles.” I SUGGEST YOU READ IT FIRST, OR… START AT THE FIRST POST IN THIS STORY.

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At the bottom of the Everest ramp was a woman who had been trying to get up it, I don’t even know for how long. Seven tries. Ten tries. Twenty? We didn’t know who she was. We didn’t see any teammates. We only saw her final running attempt, on which she came up short in reaching the arms of other Mudders who had long before finished the course and were just there helping everyone.

At that point, she had had enough. She collapsed. She began weeping. She could not do it. She had to accept that.

My heart sunk. The hearts of everyone atop the wall sunk. The hearts of the bystanders sunk.

This woman was alone, and she had given it everything she had to get to the end. And she had come up just short.

And then, one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed took place.

A man in a long blonde mullet wig, and a filthy and tattered tuxedo top, ran to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’re going to get you up this,” he said. I don’t know if she heard him through her sobs.

This was the same man who moments before had given me the advice I needed to finally get to the top of Everest. “You have to run, and you have to believe nobody is up there,” he told me. “You have to run like you have to get to the top yourself without any help.” I trusted him because he started the race in the same wave we did, and he had raised his hand when they asked who was on their 9th or 10th Tough Mudder. I took his advice, and on my next attempt I went higher up Everest than I ever had before, and my teammates were able to get me up the rest of the way.

“We’re going to get you up this,” he said again.

This time she spoke the words most of us were trying not to think.

“How? I can’t.

Continue reading: Mud, Sweat, and Endless Tears

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The Final Muddy Miles http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-final-muddy-miles.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-final-muddy-miles.html#comments Thu, 18 Sep 2014 06:01:33 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46713 dan-pearce-everest-tough-mudder4We didn't know that the final few miles of Tough Mudder would change many of our lives forever. We also never expected to see what we saw happen at the end...]]> dan-pearce-everest-tough-mudder4

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY’S STORY, “Man Down. Woman Down.” I SUGGEST YOU READ IT FIRST, OR… START AT THE FIRST POST IN THIS STORY.

Where were we? Oh, yes. Ashley was standing at the top of “Walk the Plank,” terrified and backing away.

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Out of nowhere, Ashley jumped.

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She splooshed into the cold water below. The crowd went wild. I was screaming with excitement from up top. Dena leapt next! I was the last one down

Continue reading: The Final Muddy Miles

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Man Down. Woman Down. http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/man-down-woman-down.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/man-down-woman-down.html#comments Wed, 17 Sep 2014 06:01:54 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46712 ashley-tough-mudder-2I made my most colossal mistake during Tough Mudder. And another member of our team would have a complete meltdown as she panicked about the next obstacle...]]> ashley-tough-mudder-2

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY’S STORY, “The Next Muddy, Bloody Miles” I SUGGEST YOU READ IT FIRST, OR… START AT THE FIRST POST IN THIS STORY.

The moment Kenny dropped, I knew what was happening. I yelled to those in closest range to hold up, and they in turn yelled down the line until everyone got the message.

Man down.

Rick began instructing Kenny how to properly stretch his seizing calf. I began vigorously massaging it from behind. Kenny kept saying two words which he desperately wanted us all to believe. “I’m fine.”

But see, being part of a team means not believing a fellow teammate (for the moment, at least) when they utter those words. Being a part of a team means forcing each other to take the time we need so that we can finish what we all set out to do. Nobody minded waiting for Kenny because we all knew that an extra minute or two now would mean that he would make it in the end, and jumping back into it too quickly would mean that he wouldn’t. It was that simple.

After he had been properly stretched and massaged, I looked up. I hadn’t even noticed that the entire group was now standing in a tight circle, many of them had backtracked to get to us. Where Rick and I were offering physical support, the group was offering the far more important support of making sure Kenny was laughing and that Kenny knew we were all good with what was happening.

And together, we all kept walking, straight to the obstacle that many in our group feared the most. “Arctic Enema.”

Arctic Enema is a giant container full of… ice water. An entire moving truck full of ice was parked next to it, and volunteers poured in bag, after bag, after bag . You see, a little ice wasn’t enough. No, they wanted a solid foot or more of ice floating on top. And then they wanted us all to jump in, swim under the wall which divided the container in half, and emerge from the other side.

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We paired up in twos or threes, and we all took our turn, one at a time, getting through it

Continue reading: Man Down. Woman Down.

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The Next Muddy, Bloody Miles http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-next-muddy-bloody-miles.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/the-next-muddy-bloody-miles.html#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2014 06:01:38 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46678 mud-mile-kenny-crandallWhere were we? Oh, yes. Sprinting toward that starting wall. Things really got started after that, and they were going flawlessly until *it* happened...]]> mud-mile-kenny-crandall

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY’S STORY, “Every. Single. One of us.” I SUGGEST YOU READ IT FIRST.

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I sprinted toward the wall alongside the rest of my team. Some members were already scurrying over the top before I could even get halfway there. These people, it seemed, were born as monkeys.

I was not born as a monkey. I was born as a rhino. Barreling right through that wall seemed easier than going over the top of it to me.

I reached the wall alongside Rick (our five-time Tough Mudder), Bodhi (an undeniably anxious and helpful spirit), Troy (a bad ass biker dude with earrings and long hair), Jerilee (a marathon runner who just qualified for Boston) and others.

This is when everything changed.

There was no thinking. There was no planning or plotting. Everything just clicked in and we all took on our roles as if we had been practicing them together for years.

The bigger and stronger members of our group immediately squatted. We held out our hands to create living platforms for other members to launch from. One by one, teammates began hurling over this wall which moments before seemed so impossible. Last to go over with assistance was Kenny, who I am guessing was a thousand times more worried about that wall than I even was. I never saw how he got down the other side. I only saw that brief look in his eyes when he was atop the wall, and he felt the same thing I would feel moments later. The look that said, I’m going to be able to do this. All of this.

Once everyone else was over, there was only Bodhi, me, and Rick left to get over. Rick offered me his hands to launch me the way we had done others. But something inside me told me no. This wall was mine

Continue reading: The Next Muddy, Bloody Miles

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Every. Single. One of us. http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/every-single-one-of-us.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/every-single-one-of-us.html#comments Mon, 15 Sep 2014 07:05:02 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46664 sdlhc-pre-tough-mudder-party1With months of fear and excitement leading up to it, Tough Mudder was finally upon us. And I don't think *any* of us were prepared for what was to come...]]> sdlhc-pre-tough-mudder-party1

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15 or so people (from our 19-person Tough Mudder team) met up the night before Tough Mudder to really get to know each other and to build team unity. Many people were, after all, meeting for the first time.

The next day we were to embark on a 12 mile course together, wrangling electric wires and barbwire, crawling through long black tiny tunnels, and getting all up in each other’s business. Getting to know each other first seemed like a good idea.

“Let’s play a game. Let’s go around and each of us tell our biggest fear for Tough Mudder tomorrow.”

“Arctic Enema” was an obstacle which was mentioned multiple times, and with reason. It’s a giant tank of water with more than a foot of ice floating on top. You jump in, you swim underneath a wall, and you emerge on the other side into even more water and even thicker ice. Then, you gotta think straight enough to climb out of the dang thing.

Another obstacle mentioned was “Electroshock,” the final obstacle, at the very end of the course. Electroshock features hundreds of hanging live wires which zap you at random as your barrel through them to the finish line. And they’re not just little zaps. They’re enough to knock you sideways a bit. 10,000 volts, they say. Only a true masochist would enjoy such a thing

Continue reading: Every. Single. One of us.

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This is Beautiful You – ADOPTION Edition! http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-adoption-edition.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/this-is-beautiful-you-adoption-edition.html#comments Sun, 14 Sep 2014 06:01:56 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46534 beautiful-you-adoption-21Every Sunday I take the photos of you and the people you love, and I share them here because, well, I think we're all pretty dang beautiful.]]> beautiful-you-adoption-21

Finally, my favorite post of the week!

Every Sunday morning I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall, and I post them here.

I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everyone else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on the awesome people coming here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the community here at SDL. And, more than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each really are.

Thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It’s my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you. Adoption Edition!

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Continue reading: This is Beautiful You – ADOPTION Edition!

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50 All-New WEIRD Confessions http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/50-all-new-weird-confessions-2.html http://www.danoah.com/2014/09/50-all-new-weird-confessions-2.html#comments Fri, 12 Sep 2014 06:01:09 +0000 http://www.danoah.com/?p=46532 Note paperThese are 50 *ALL-NEW* overly weird confessions made by everyday people with an anonymous place to tell something they do when they're all alone.]]> Note paper

Weird Confessions

We’re all normal.

And when I say normal, I mean that we are all crazy, and strange, and weird. And all that is normal. Believe me.

I myself have my oddities. I have weird things I do that nobody else knows about. And that got me to thinking. Would other people fess up and confess their own weirdnesses if I gave them an anonymous place to do it?

There was only one way to tell. So, I setup an anonymous form with only one question.

What is the weirdest thing you do that you never tell anyone else about?

Your answers have been making me feel weirdly normal ever since. All 5,000 of them (so far). Hahaha. Enjoy.

Continue reading: 50 All-New WEIRD Confessions

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