Sources report that after weeks of negotiations with FOX, President Barrack Obama will lace up and wear shiny shorts for a few rounds against opponent Mitt Romney.
A spokesman for the Obama administration held a press conference earlier this afternoon in which he said, “the President believes that the American people are tired of men who aren’t men at all. He feels that a real man is one who can win in a boxing ring as boldly as he can win in a debate. Plus we’re short on cash and we needed the extra $10 million for a new internet smear campaign we’d like to run.”
Before declining further questions he added, “it will either be the greatest moment in television history or the greatest moment in American history, we haven’t decided how to spin it yet.”
Romney’s team didn’t hold a press conference, but when a reporter cornered the politician in a bathroom and asked about it, the President’s opponent said, “I wish I could say the only reason I’m doing it is to knock the guy out. That’s the biggest reason, for sure. But I also never turn down opportunities to earn some extra spending money for my church.” He then added, “it will be nice to see the President fight with the gloves on for a change.”
Critics argue that a publicity stunt like this could damage the currently respected face of politics. Critics of those critics argue that nothing could ever taint people’s high opinions of politics. “People just trust politicians, and they always will,” one pundit said.
The fight is tentatively set for the eve of the first televised Presidential Debate between Obama and Romney. “Both parties feel that showing up to the debate with black eyes and fat lips will add some much needed emotion to the usually passive event,” one FOX insider reported.
Dan Pearce, My Fantastic Escape.
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