After an almost 20 year crush, blogger makes plans to woo the actress by any means necessary.
According to sources, the blogger declared that he had harbored a crush on the megastar since he was fifteen, and that he was going to “Tonya Harding” the poor schmuck that stole her away.
“I couldn’t tell if he was serious,” long time friend Michael Tobian said. “I think he just might do it. I mean, I last saw him digging in his closet looking for something he called ‘Old Thuggie.’”
When asked for a comment, Pearce said, “it’s nothing personal; I’m sure famous people understand that. If anything, I’m betting Jennifer will think it’s chivalrous and will see that I’m the only one for her.”
One reporter then pointed out to him that breaking someone’s leg might not lead to them breaking off the engagement. Another reporter reminded him that Harding finished way behind Kerrigan in the Olympics and so he might actually be pushing the couple closer together in the long run.
Pearce thought for a moment and said, “you’re right. If it’s going to work, I’ve gotta do something really magnanimous to win her heart. Maybe I’ll try Mike Tyson’s approach on him instead.”
Apparently the blogger wasn’t alone in his feelings. Millions of men across the internet made similar plans to woo Aniston. #JenniferChooseMeInstead was a trending Twitter topic most of last week.
Dan Pearce, My Fantastic Escape.
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