The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man Read-Along

I’ve decided to share my latest book (The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man) with my followers here on my blog, free of charge, one chapter at a time. This is the page where you’ll find all the chapters I’ve shared so far.


Introduction: Escaping Death
Don’t do this. It’s bad.
Awkward First Love
I Would Never Do That
The Two-Mile Walk of Shame
Lick it.
Sweat, Blood, & Smears
The Unfortunate Nipple Incident
My ass. Stuck. To a log in the woods.
The Broken Wrist
Burning Down the Basement
A Pointless List of My Random Thoughts
The Best Damn Tuba Player
The Fish Tank Incident
The Missing Shoes
The Glorious Spot in My Jeans
Driving Around Town Breaking Windows
Ratted-Out By My Child
My Punch Drunk Sister
The Mexican Kids in the Trash Pile
Taking a Baseball Bat to… Myself
The Potato Cannon Incident
Mom. Grandma.
The Day The Scale Simply Said, “O.L.”
The Precious Cargo Within That Hospital Room
Another Pointless List of My Random Thoughts
The Adventures That Come With Changing
My First (and Last) Attempt to Spank My Kid
The Golden Ticket of Failed Relationships
Famous and Popular {at last}
A Traumatic First Kiss
All the Pretty Ladies
And Then I Looked In the Granola Box
An Hour to Kill
Noah’s Shit-Word Spree
Who Stacked the Quarters?
It’s About Time
Conclusion: *Finally* Waking Up

Of course, this book is for sale on paperback, hard cover, or as an e-book. If you find yourself unable to live without a copy, I would *so* very much appreciate you ordering one. You can find it on Amazon here (paperback and Kindle). Or hardcover here. Or Nook here. Or iBooks here.

Back cover.