The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man Read-Along

I’ve decided to share my latest book (The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man) with my followers here on my blog, free of charge, one chapter at a time. This is the page where you’ll find all the chapters I’ve shared so far.


Introduction: Escaping Death
Don’t do this. It’s bad.
Awkward First Love
I Would Never Do That
The Two-Mile Walk of Shame
Lick it.
Sweat, Blood, & Smears
The Unfortunate Nipple Incident
My ass. Stuck. To a log in the woods.
The Broken Wrist
Burning Down the Basement
A Pointless List of My Random Thoughts
The Best Damn Tuba Player
The Fish Tank
Missing Shoes
The Spot
Breaking Windows
Ratted Out
Punch Drunk
The Mexican Kids in the Trash Pile
The Baseball Bat
The Potato Cannon
Mom. Grandma.
Precious Cargo
Another Pointless List of My Random Thoughts
My First (and Last) Attempt to Spank My Kid
The Golden Ticket
Famous and Popular {at last}
Traumatic Kiss
All the Pretty Ladies
An Hour to Kill
Noah’s Shit-Word Spree
Stacking Quarters
About Time
Conclusion: Waking Up

Of course, this book is for sale on paperback, hard cover, or as an e-book. If you find yourself unable to live without a copy, I would *so* very much appreciate you ordering one. You can find it on Amazon here (paperback and Kindle). Or hardcover here. Or Nook here. Or iBooks here.

Back cover.