ONE HUMAN PASS TO BE… LAZY?!
VALID TODAY ONLY, SO PLEASE USE IT!
Today, the holder of this pass is entitled to be a lazy person in every way, and you don’t have to do a dang thing to rationalize it or awkwardly explain why you’re uncomfortable with it; it’s fully expected that you will be. You also may not sneak-in a single moment of productivity. This pass includes, but is not limited to binge-watching TV shows, staying stinky and greasy, lounging in sweatpants, and letting other people pick up the slack for once!
The issuer of this “Human Pass” guarantees not to think a dang thing about your laziness except: “finally! This person I love is taking a moment to breathe!” because… Guess what, super human. You are human. And no human can always do what you always seem to do. Today, you get a pass on having to do… anything else at all. It’s totally okay. And you’ve earned it.