SINGLE DAD LAUGHING'S LATEST:

An Ode to Summer (Finally) Ending

As I lay here hiding in my bedroom, rocking to and fro, trying not to go absolutely nuts, I ended up writing this poem about summer and what it's like to be a parent by the end of this glorious season!

Date me. Or me. Or me. Or maybe ME?

Ahem. I shall now demonstrate why dating apps scare the bejeebers out of me in this day and age with all the apps we have readily available to us to help boost our dateability.

Old People Say the Darnedest Things

old people say the darnedest things
Let's be honest, here. Old people can get away with saying just about whatever they want. And we applaud them for it. These are some of the funniest things ever said by old people.

My Dentist Trip: According to “Talk to Text”

I couldn't get a coherent blog post written after a quick trip to the dentist took a turn for the worst. So instead, I'm gonna tell you about it with "talk to text" while hopped up on pain meds...

For All My Trolls…

It's been a while since I wrote something special for my trolls. There have been plenty since I came back to blogging. Well, trolls, this one is for you...

Anyone Who Calls Me “Bud” Can’t Be Trusted

salesperson who calls me bud can't be trusted
I went car shopping and listened to a 23-year-old salesperson call me "Bud" again and again until I had finally had enough...

My Trick to Stop Any Shit Talker Dead In His Verbal Tracks

Whether someone is talking shit to be funny or to try and hurt me, I have a little trick that works every single time to shut them up and stop them dead in their tracks...

I May Just Be the Great Dane of Humans

I am the Great Dane of Humans
What I'm writing today turned out to be a little morbid and twisted, kind of like the image I used for it, but hey. It's how I feel when I compare myself to dog breeds.

The Beggar At My Car Window Who Refused to Take My Money

A beggar scared the living daylight out of me when he knocked at my car window to ask for money at a time when my life was a real struggle. He then refused to take my money before leaving me with with advice that was exactly what I needed to hear.

Dropping those Bad, Bad, Words With My Kid (Monday’s Random Ramblings)

Yesterday I was driving with my kid and dropped an f-bomb. I didn't do it by accident. It was a very purposeful f-bomb, followed by more purposeful f-bombs, all to make sure he remembered what I was trying to teach him.

ALL-TIME TOP SDL POSTS:

A Friend No Longer Worth Knowing

I have this friend. Well, *had* this friend. A close friend. And it's time I say goodbye to this man who has done nothing but hold me back and bring me down...

I’m Christian, unless you’re gay.

This is possibly the most difficult post I've ever written. But some strong words need to be said today today. "God hates fags." We've all heard it. But...

My Crazy Mountaintop Rescue

The following posts were part of a six-post series about the time I almost died on a mountaintop.

Weird Boobs and Little Wieners

When it comes to our most sensitive body parts, something in our society (and how we see ourselves) has drastically changed, and I think we have forgotten these few basic, beautiful, and unchangeable truths about them...

20 Things That Ain’t None of Your Business

After asking a friend to leave my house for being rude and over-obsessed with the going-ons in other people's lives, I sat down and wrote this list.

How much did YOUR kid cost?

Somebody had the nerve to ask me right in front of my son, "how much did he cost?" So, please listen up. When adoption is involved... never say these 11 things.

You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.

I feel a need to write this after what I witnessed a father do at Costco yesterday... Parents. And especially some of you dads. Stop breaking your children. Please.

217 Wrong Numbers

I sent the same text to 217 random cell phone numbers. Some replies made me smile. Some made me laugh. Some made me sad. For some, there just weren't words.

20 Ways to Tell When Someone is Acting Out of Insecurity

We all have insecurities. But sometimes people "act out" of insecurity, and it can be destructive and difficult to recognize. So, I've made a list of the things insecure people do when they "act out."

Memoirs of a Bullied Kid

I don't recall any serious heartache or sadness during my first 10 years of life. But in 5th grade, all that changed. This was my story and my thoughts on bullying.

The Most Embarrassing Things Ever Blurted Out By Kids

I asked 175,000 people, "What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?" These were my favorite responses...

The OTHER 15 Ways I Blew My Marriage

Part II: I've had two failed marriages now which means I'm not the one you should come to for marriage advice. But "don't blow it" advice? I've got plenty.

The disease called “Perfection”

As a warning, the following post was written in complete desperation. I have recently learned some very sobering truths from people that I love dearly. These truths have set in motion a quest...

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage

I've had two failed marriages now which means I'm not the one you should come to for marriage advice. But "don't blow it" advice? I've got plenty.

Other popular SDL posts:

The Scarf that Changed the World

I want you to take a good look at this man. And then I want you to take a good look at the scarf he is wearing. Before this post is done, I hope to show you how this scarf changed (or will change) the world.

The 6 Words People Making Huge Life Choices Need You to Say

Is it possible that even when our intentions are good, we're severely handicapping the people we love when they're making big decisions because we won't say these six words to them?

I Brokeded It Real Good.

Formula we should ALL remember: ion + brothers + king of the hill + Labor Day sunshine = one seriously broken toe.

Epic People Watching – Folks on Airplanes

What better way to spend a less than ideal flying experience than by watching the people around me and noting down the weird things they do? LOL.

The Ten Rules of the Divorce Club

There is a club that very few people make it into, and it's called the Divorce Club. But to get in, you have to follow these ten (tongue-in-cheek) rules...

A Big Fat Day of THAT

See THAT?! Yeah. I blame THAT. For all of THIS...

Stuck Beside a Crying Woman

I wrote this after finding myself stuck on the freeway next to a woman who was uncontrollably sobbing in the next car over... About what, I'll never know...

Seriously Traumatized by Food

I asked you, "what is the most traumatizing experience you've ever had with food?" Your answers have had me laughing out loud and grabbing my gut in sympathy.

Swimming the Mile

When I was a Boy Scout, I did the impossible as a fat kid. And I was the only kid who didn't get what he deserved when he was done.

The Friendship Wrecker

I'm in a feisty mood, today. Hahaha. There's this guy. Or maybe a girl. I don't know. All I know is that he/she is a friendship WRECKER! And it's payback time.

The Panicked Sprint

Well. This happened. I finally just escaped from my garage after being trapped inside of it for two hours... butt ass naked.

Trapped within the Walls of a Guarded Heart

After my divorce in 2010, there wasn’t much left of me that could still be considered intact. My thoughts were obscured and darkened. My laughter gone. My eyes no longer moist. My tears were all spent trying to save the marriage. I had none left, it seemed, to...

10 Things You NEED to Splurge On When Money Is Tight

When I got so poor that I started eating cheap cereal with water poured on top, I realized that I NEEDED to splurge on a few things to break out of my funk.

The Human Parent – An Overdue Rant

I shared some of the heavy secrets that some of my parent readers have been carrying around. The general response was vicious and harsh and that isn't right...

Mom pushed Daddy out the door

Today I want to discuss and debate what I believe is the second part of this extremely complicated puzzle with you.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Last week was hard. And depressing. And I ran over a chipmunk. And I cried. And I laughed. And I got the following awful email. And somehow I woke up this morning and laughed because... life goes on.

Guilting Me Into an Inauthentic Life

After receiving a reprimanding email from a family member for living my own beliefs, I just needed to have a good rant.

What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

Oh man, is it ever tempting to dig and poke for the "truth" when we find out somebody else has a negative opinion about us. I'm telling you now. It won't end well.

The Parental Happiness Graph

I was reading an article some time ago about the average level of happiness that parents feel as their children age. After completing some study which included oodles and gobs of parents, they came up with a chart that looked something like this...

``Wrong Numbers``

242 ALL-NEW “Wrong Numbers”

Text Sent to Wrong Numbers
I randomly texted 242 strangers (again) with a simple question. "What is the absolute best thing you hope will happen in 2017?" Their replies were amazing.

155 All-New “Wrong Numbers”

Once again, I randomly texted strangers with a simple question. "What’s the #1 most awesome thing that makes you so awesomely… you?" Their replies were amazing.

10 All-New Wrong Numbers (Part 2 of the New Year Texts)

To start off the year, I randomly texted strangers with a simple question. What's going to make this the best year ever? Their replies show humaning at its best.

13 All-New Wrong Numbers

To start off the year, I randomly texted strangers with a simple question. What's going to make this the best year ever? Their replies show humaning at its best.

The Hard Side I Don’t Show You from the Wrong Numbers Posts

The truth. "Wrong Numbers" (where I send positive texts to random numbers) has its hard side and its dark side. This is what actually happens when I send those.

304 MORE Wrong Numbers – HOLIDAY EDITION!

ALL NEW HOLIDAY EDITION! I sent the same text to 304 random numbers with the request to share a secret thought about Christmas. The replies. Wow. I love people.

246 MORE Wrong Numbers

ALL NEW! I sent the same text to 246 random numbers, this time with a simple statement. "Isn't life just... THE BEST?!" The replies. Wow... I love people.

Brought to You By You

This is the Truth Box – Week 40

This is the Truth Box
Remember. We're all fighting our own great battles. These are the secrets you've never told anyone. And what everyone else believes is the truth. All new.

Kids Say Some Pretty Dang Profound Things Sometimes

Kids Say Some Pretty Dang Profound Things Sometimes
I asked my followers "What is the most profound thing you've ever heard a child say?" These were my favorite 16 responses. Kids can definitely be profound!

30 All-New WEIRD Confessions

Weird Confessions
These are 30 *ALL-NEW* overly weird confessions made by everyday people with an anonymous place to tell something they do when they're all alone.

Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 39

Pulled from the Truth Box
Remember. We're all fighting our own great battles. These are the secrets you've never told anyone. And what everyone else believes is the truth. All new.

Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 38

Pulled from the Truth Box
Remember. We're all fighting our own great battles. These are the secrets you've never told anyone. And what everyone else believes is the truth. All new.

Pulled from the Truth Box – Week 37

Pulled from the Truth Box
Remember. We're all fighting our own great battles. These are more of the secrets you've never told anyone. And what everyone else believes is the truth.

Humor

The crappiest diet ever (that actually works)

Wow, I feel so much pressure to write something awesome today. Yesterday was the craziest day here on Single Dad Laughing. We have a ton of new followers today. If you haven't checked out yesterday's post, go do it. Immediately.So, an awesome post for...

How Much Wood Could Chucky & Woody the Woodchucks Chuck?

Woody and Chucky the Woodchucks
Whew. It took me three full days to write and memorize this whole thing, and then only about 80 or so takes to get it (close to) flawless. So now the questions is... Can you keep up?

When Karma Made Me Pay $51 to My Kid For Trying to Dupe Him

This is the story of how I just tried to dupe my kid in the name of teaching him a valuable lesson, and instead karma got me good. Karma got me $51 good...

My 24 Favorite Tinder Screenshots From My 3 Years on Tinder

I've been saving my favorite Tinder screenshots for 3 years now, and I think it's time I start sharing some of the hilarious and awesome ones with all of you.

Parenting

Get Out Your Money!

If you've ever been shopping with a child, you know what it's like to be pounded with a thousand "can I get that" and "can I have this" questions. Well, I've perfected a trick that puts an end to it.

It Seems the World’s Been Waiting for the Bed My Dad Invented

It's surreal to watch your own dad chase his dream for decades, lose almost everything repeatedly, and finally achieve insane success. His Purple mattress is taking the world by storm, and I couldn't be prouder.

An Overly Nerve-Wracking Let-My-Kid-Grow-Up Moment

It's not easy letting my kid go do grown-up things.
My child is at the age where I *have* to start letting him grow up and do things that scare me as a parent. Today was one of the most nerve-wracking yet...

Beware the Wrath of This Dad

wrath dad fist bump
I was at the park playing catch with my son when four masked teenagers suddenly appeared, all carrying guns. They learned quick that you don't terrorize my kid.

Dating

Suddenly Not So Single – Day 32 of my #365DaysToLive

Dan Pearce and Cassie Martinez
The universe really didn't care about my defiant (and very public) plans to give up dating altogether. As soon as I did, I met this awesome girl named Cassie.

CHALLENGE: Guess Our Doodle Tattoos

The Farmer's Daughter and I drew tattoos onto each other's legs. And they turned out amazingly awful. Who can guess what they were *supposed* to be of?

The Dating Website Misrepresentation Problem Solved

Dating websites. There are so many awesome people on them. There are also so many weirdos, skanks, and frauds that always show up to the party, too.

How to Be the #BestBoyfriendEVER!

I'm 34. And for some reason I still don't have a girlfriend. So... I went back into Instagram to get these 30 tips via the hilarious #BestBoyfriendEVER tag.