Wow, I really sparked some intense response yesterday with my post Dating Website Misrepresentation when I discussed a woman who showed up for a date much heavier than what she presented herself to be online.
A lot of comments came in, but there were basically six types of comments being left on that post.
1) Dan, I agree with you. People should represent themselves accurately on dating websites.
2) Dan, you’re lying when you say you would have gone out with her if she had shown you beforehand that she was fat.
3) Dan, you have no idea what it’s like to be fat. The whole world hates fat people.
4) Dan, you should have looked past her lie and given her a second chance.
5) Dan, it is okay for women to show pictures of themselves that aren’t real because men on dating websites are so superficial they will immediately pass them by.
6) Dan, maybe she just wanted you to meet her in person before you judged her so that you could discover the beautiful person that she was on the inside.
Today I want to respond to these six responses one at a time (each on its own page should you want to share a link to a specific response). I’m sure I’ll catch some flack for it (it’s proven to be a touchy subject, after all), but I hope that we can all dismantle our personal angst long enough to have a worthwhile discussion about it. Do me a favor and read to the end before leaving any comments as I tie several thoughts together. Also, I hope you understand the symbolism of the photo I chose to use.
Please note that I originally wrote this post using the word “overweight” but then changed it to “fat” throughout for semantics’ sake. It feels like a harsher word, but as some of you pointed out, overweight is a relative word that will be very different for everyone.