“Don’t you get it? Every relationship I’ve ever had has failed,” I said to my friend Kelsey Blue Eyes last week during a deeper discussion about life and dating and both of our struggles therein.
Eh, who am I kidding? We weren’t just talking. We were having a straight-up pity party. Don’t feel bad that you weren’t invited. The entire invite list consisted of me, Kelsey Blue Eyes, two blankets, a park, and a couple of cold ones.
I had good reasons to be feeling like that for the evening. I mean, the vast majority of you probably had no idea, but things were brutal in the parent blogging world for a couple weeks there. And in the heat of it all, more than a couple of my critics attempted to discredit me by pointing out that I can’t seem to keep a relationship, therefore I must be a real schmuck.
I had a lot to think about with everything going on; this was just one thing on the list. And what bothered me was that they were right, at least about one thing. Every relationship I’ve had has eventually failed.
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And that left me to ponder… What is wrong with me? Why is that my reality?
Thankfully, Utah’s crazy liquor laws gave me just enough alcohol in my beer to think straight and not enough to think stupidly. And I realized one great and comforting truth.
Everybody who is single has also had every relationship fail in the past.
With the exception maybe of widows and nuns.
Once I realized that, I had to laugh at what a silly method of measurement such a thing is for the worth of an individual. The only difference between somebody who is in a relationship that’s working and somebody who is single is that those in a working relationship succeeded in one relationship.
With the exception maybe of happily remarried widows and nuns on the down low.
And those one single relationships that my non-single counterparts succeeded in almost always came after a lot of failed ones.
Which means… there aren’t a lot of relationship experts out there.
So next time you’re out drinking a (hopefully stronger) beer, laying on blankets, talking to one of your best friends about how bad you must suck cause every relationship you’ve ever had has failed…
The same is true for me. And for billions of other people.
And all it means is that love is hard and finding the one person that it’ll work with is sometimes a very long and heart-mincing process.
Some people just get lucky sooner than others.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Have you ever felt like something was really wrong with you because of failed or struggling relationships? If so, what are your thoughts on this post today?