The past two weeks have been so interesting (for lack of a better word), that I feel a need to dive into a few dynamics of it all today.
I have lots of close friends who are either gay or bisexual. And by lots I mean that I have around ten or so, which is a pretty high number considering where I live. Not because there are fewer gays here, but because… it’s Utah. A place where it’s still more preferable that your loved ones be doing time for armed robbery than that they love someone of the same sex.
But here’s the thing. Of my ten or so gay or bisexual friends here, guess how many of them are completely out? Would you believe me if I told you the answer was zero? That’s right. None of them. It’s as if we have this underground club where we all come out to each other and a few others in our lives, but the thought of coming out to the entire world is still so terrifying.
When I decided to come out and told each of them, their responses varied. Some of them grabbed their pompoms and cheered me on. Their cheer went something like, “Give me an O. Give me a U. Give me a T. But please don’t ever mention me!”
Others cautiously urged me not to do it, assuring me that there was no reason to throw myself to the ravenous wolves who were standing on the outskirts looking for their next meal.
One of them even said, “That’s freaking awesome! If you’re going to do it, I want to do it, too.” The next day he changed his mind.
Fast forward a few months to the day I came out.
Thousands, and I mean thousands of people left loving and supportive comments on my blog that day. Thousands more on Facebook. Hundreds on Twitter. You get the idea.
I remember thinking, why has this taken me so long? Why have I avoided this the way I’d avoid a Mogen clamp? Everything’s okay. Somebody already fixed the world!
Even my family, half of whom I was terrified of telling, wrapped their arms around me and sang kumbaya while we made smores. “We love you unconditionally,” they immediately and publicly responded.
All that lasted about a day. Maybe a day and a half.