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savannah-catThank God for sleep.

No, like really. I’m usually overly agnostic, but right now I am sincerely thanking God for sleep. After all, if someone hadn’t stepped inside of my crazy mind while I was asleep and slapped it around a little, I’d be in big trouble right now. Because I honestly believe I was too far into stupid to set myself straight on my own.

Yesterday I almost spent $10,000 on a cat. $10,000 I don’t even have to spend on a cat. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t even know how I could have pulled it off. I just know that before I went to bed, I was going to get a $10,000 cat for us.

You’d be amazed the rationalization for this purchase I was able to pull off.

It will be an incredible investment for this blog! I told myself. I mean, surely a cat that cool would offer never-ending awesome opportunities for blogging and photos and everything else like that. The world would fall in love with this cat. I just knew it.

It will be an incredible companion! I told myself. It’s true, sometimes it’d be really nice to just see something move or hear something meow or woof when I started getting crazy cabin fever.

It will be a good way to teach Noah responsibility! It will be the talk of parties! It will entertain so many people! If I needed, to, I could breed it and make my money back! It will… it will… it will…

I don’t know what I was thinking. I just know my brain wasn’t going as per the usual while I was thinking it.

I mean, $10,000 for a cat? How about a new Harley instead? How about a trip to Europe? How about boarding school for my child? (I kid, I kid). How about 10,000 meals for children in Africa? Or, and here’s a grand idea, how about not blowing that kind of wad on anything at all right now? Especially when I don’t even have it to spend.

By the end of the day, I had thought of everything I could sell off to make it happen. I thought of how I could somehow scrape up the funds. I thought of where I could take out some debt. I thought of what bills I could eliminate. It was an “investment” after all! Yes, I thought of a lot of things. I had it all planned out. I was about to have the danged coolest cat in the world, and you would all LOVE this cat so much and the whole world would line up to see it, and e-cards and memes would be made out of it, and etc. etc. etc. etc.!

Then I went to bed. And I couldn’t sleep for the longest time because I was so excited about our new $10,000 cat.


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Dan Pearce is an American born writer, photographer, and artist. His books include "The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man" and "The Real Dad Rules." He is best known for his blog (and supporting Facebook page) "Single Dad Laughing," with 2 million followers as of 2018.