It’s been a long time since I wrote The Disease Called “Perfection,” and to this day I still find myself thinking sometimes that I suck because the people around me are so much more perfect at the things that cause me constant struggle.

And sometimes in the middle of feeling sucky, I go for walks. And I walk around neighborhoods where everything looks the same. And somehow everyone looks the same. And all the yards are the same. And all the roofs. And the fences. And the vehicles.

And when I see all that, I remember that we live in a world where so often everyone does everything they possibly can to hide all of the ways they suck behind a curtain of “normal.” Behind a curtain of perfection. And when they do that, everyone thinks they’re alone in their suckiness.

And then I remember that some struggles are my own. And other struggles are universal even though we usually think we’re alone with them. And the very things that I sometimes feel down about are going on under the roofs of every home I walk by. Here are a few that come to mind.

9 Big Ways Pretty Much All People Suck
(At Least Occasionally)

1. Sometimes I stuff my face with the worst stuff ever. Not often, though often enough. I just start eating junk, and then I find myself eating more junk, and as much as I hate myself for it, I find myself eating even more junk. I literally can’t stop sometimes, once I get started.
Why I think I suck: I just know I can’t be truly healthy because every other healthy human being is the master of their diets. They would never, ever, ever lose control the way I sometimes do. To do so is a demonstration of extreme weakness. Right?


Why I don’t actually suck (and why you don’t either): Every person on earth has their moments of weakness when it comes to putting crap into their bodies. Those people with rock hard abs and killer bodies, yeah, they may do it less often and to a lesser degree, but they do it too. Those people who are always talking about their healthy eating habits? Yeah, they definitely do. Any person who tells you differently is full of crap.
2. Sometimes I waste entire days. Not often, though more often than I should, I wake up and I can’t find the energy or motivation to get going. And I sit all sweaty and nasty like a lump of lard. And I watch TV. And I never get dressed. Or showered. And I don’t exercise. And I never do anything. And eventually I go to bed and feel like the biggest waste of space.
Why I think I suck: I just know I can’t be truly successful because every other successful person would never, ever, ever do that. They never rest. They never have days where they can’t get going. And they have every tool in place to make sure that such failures never happen. Right?


Why I don’t actually suck (and why you don’t either): Every person, at some point or another, has days where their brain shuts down and needs a day of nothing to restart. No person can go forever and remain perfectly motivated all the time. Even the most successful people on earth have days where they sit in their own grossness. If any person says otherwise, they’re full of crap. Guaranteed.
3. Sometimes I am a big fat jerk to others. Not very often, though it does happen, I am pissy and ornery to other people. Sometimes it’s to customer service people. Sometimes it’s to salespeople. Sometimes it’s to a family member or to my child. I’m grumpy. Moody. And nothing nice seems to come out of my mouth.
Why I think I suck: I just know I can’t be a truly kind person because every other kind person would never, ever, ever be a jerk to others. They wouldn’t be grumpy or rude. To anyone. They are kind to all people, in all places, and at all times. Right?


Why I don’t actually suck (and why you don’t either): Every person on earth has moments when the “nice part of their brains” don’t work. Even the nicest people ever have certain people that just rub them the wrong way. And even if they’re not being jerks out loud, on the inside they’re being huge jerks. Some people are just better at hiding it. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of crap.
4. Sometimes I say things to manipulate people. Not very often, though I catch myself doing it sometimes, I realize that I’m phrasing things in such a way that is 100% completely meant to manipulate others into doing what I want them to do. In these moments it is all about me, and I couldn’t care less about them. What’s worse is that it’s almost always to people that I love.
Why I think I suck: I just know I can’t be a truly caring person because every other caring person would never attempt to get their own needs met with manipulation or while not caring about how others are affected by it. Right?


Why I don’t actually suck (and why you don’t either): Every person on earth manipulates others from time to time to get what they want or need. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it’s not, but everyone does it. And if anyone says no way, uh uh, not me, well, they’re full of crap.
5. Sometimes I lie. Not often, but often enough that I have to admit it, I lie to others. Maybe it’s to get out of an event. Maybe it’s to get out of work. Maybe it’s so that I don’t have to explain myself further. Maybe it’s because I just don’t feel like the truth is anyone else’s business. Maybe it’s because I know that my truthful opinion will hurt someone else.
Why I think I suck: I just know I can’t be a truly honest person because every other honest person would never lie about anything, ever. They would be honest no matter what, damn the consequences. Right?


Why I don’t actually suck (and why you don’t either): As it turns out, yep, everyone lies to some degree and when they feel it’s necessary. We all just have our own definition of what an honest person is, and the level of lies allowed to still be considered honest is different for everyone. But no one, and I mean no one tells the truth 100% of the time. Anyone who claims that they never ever lie is, well, lying.


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Dan Pearce is an American born writer, photographer, and artist. His books include "The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man" and "The Real Dad Rules." He is best known for his blog (and supporting Facebook page) "Single Dad Laughing," with 2 million followers as of 2018.