You know how there are those occasional projects or ideas in your life that get you so excited that you lose sleep? And I’m not talking small amounts of sleep. I’m talking major sleep. Like where you toss and turn until four in the morning, twelve days in a row because you just can’t stop thinking about every detail.

Well, that has been me the last while as I’ve been working to develop a new app for iPhone and Android. The app is one of three big & scary things I’m doing in my life at the moment to finally make an old dream of mine a reality, but I’ll wait to tell you all about the app until it’s ready to be launched in the coming weeks. It’s gonna be awesome.

Today I want to tell you about this long time dream and why I’ve been laying awake so many nights. So many things have to happen before I can even start on the dream. And like I said, they are big and sometimes scary things. For me, anyway.

I’ve been working toward becoming a personal trainer. I’ve been working toward becoming a life coach. And I’ve been working on this new app (which hopefully will eventually help fund the dream).

dream-big3My dream really started about eight years ago, when I was so skinny that a small child could grab onto my hip bones and spin me around in the air. That was also about the time that my doctor told me that if I didn’t stop losing weight, I would probably die.

A year before that, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. That’s where they chop your stomach into little bits and pieces and sew you back together so that you can easily lose weight.

Three months before that, my mom and dad pulled my 350 lb. butt aside and said, “hey, if you want the surgery, we’re buying!” I eagerly said, “hell yeah!” Well, I was trying to be a good Mormon boy at the time. It was probably more like, “heck yeah!”

Two months before that I had gone on a crazy diet where I ate nothing but ranch dressing and steak. I lost 20 lbs.

A month after that, I had gained 25 lbs.

Four months before that I had bought a bottle of super expensive magic diet pills that promised me rapid weight loss. They didn’t work.

Two months before that, I had gone forth with all the will-power in the entire universe and I swore off all unhealthy food forever. That lasted about 7 hours.

Two months before that, I tried another magic weight loss pill. For some reason that was a crock of crap too.

A month before that I read a book teaching me how to get mega-ripped abs!

And so the cycle went.

Before that.

And before that.

And after that.

And before that.

And before that.

All the way to 1996, when my doctor prescribed me Phen-Fen and I lost 85 freaking pounds. My god, I was a sexy animal.