Confident nerd in eyeglasses adjusting his bow-tieYou’ve delivered, once again. I asked you all on the SDL Facebook Wall, “knowing that I might use it in a blog post, what is the craziest, creepiest, weirdest, or worst thing that ever happened to you on a first date? Be sure to like your favorites!

Oh, and if you missed my post yesterday about the most traumatizing first kiss I’ve ever had, catch it here!

36 Amazing Stories that Prove Not EVERY First Date is a Winner.

1. The most amazing guy in my music theory class *finally* asked me out, and we were having a fabulous time… until we figured out that he was my cousin.

2. It was a date set up via I met him at a bowling alley bar with a friend. I also met his friend, aka, his baby mama. It was her birthday. And she was mucho preggos with their child. And he got mad at me that I wouldn’t go to dinner with him the next night. Um…. whaaaat???

3. I left a guy alone in my car while I ran into a store to get something on a first date. I had a bag with a dirty change of clothes from spending the night at a friends house in my backseat… The next day when I brought it in to wash, I discovered the (dirty) underwear were no longer there. He admitted to taking it and asked if he could buy any more of my dirty panties. Gross!

4. This girl tells me she only eats store bought frozen cheese pizzas, pizza pops and waffles…… Im a chef, food is my life. I couldn’t head for the door fast enough. Scariest moment of my life.

5. He used the washroom in my house and came out with his pants around the ankles and said, “I pooed and there is no toilet paper.”

6. A few weeks after that lady was found dead at beach killed by her husband my date took me for a walk on the beach and kept talking about the murder and how is it would be to pull off.

7. I went on a blind date and I couldn’t remember his name at the end of the date so I said, “you have such a wonderful name how do you spell it?” His name was Bob.

8. My date french kissed my dog. No, really! He DID! I define french kissing as active interplay involving BOTH tongues. What I witnessed definitely qualified as french kissing. He then seem surprised when I refused to kiss HIM goodnight. I don’t miss him, but I think my dog does.

9. My phone got stolen by some strippers at the table next to me and we spent the rest of the first date tracking them down. They tossed the phone in an alley and we ended up getting it back off a bum that picked it up when it was ringing. Lets just say the night ended well. An epic first date.

10. My date looked like teller from Penn and teller. Then he had purple rice in his teeth. Then was pulled over and arrested since he stole the car we were in. Three months later asked me on another date. I said no.

11. He read me his notebook of poems….emo…childhood 15 year old poems….he was 30.

12. She was a news anchor. She showed up one hour late. Interviewed me for an hour. She took me to two different stores and bought $200 in make-up after bitching out the counter girl for not knowing anything about make-up. Then we went to a shitty movie she picked. She gave me a ride after to my car and leaned over to kiss me. I shook her hand instead and ran like hell.

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Dan Pearce is an American born writer, photographer, and artist. His books include "The All-Important, Well-Fed, Giant White Man" and "The Real Dad Rules." He is best known for his blog (and supporting Facebook page) "Single Dad Laughing," with 2 million followers as of 2018.