Okay, here’s the big fat hairy deal. There are certain things that should never be laughed at. I get that. Then there are certain things that shouldn’t be laughed at, but that I will probably laugh at anyway.
Because, you see… I am one who laughs at completely inappropriate things sometimes.
Meh, who am I kidding. I laugh at completely inappropriate things all the time. If that makes me a bad person, so be it.
These are a few of the things I laugh at…
#1 – Cussing Children
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Look. I’m not saying that all cussing children are funny. If an eleven year old kid walked up to me and called me a “f***ing old piece of dog sh**” I don’t think I’d laugh. I’d want to grab his tongue and staple it to his parent’s front door with a note that said, “I am NOT freaking old.” Oh yeah, and I’d mention the swearing, too.
But when my six year old accidentally tells his aunt that dad hit the f***ing b**ch after hearing me tell the Farmer’s Daughter that I hit the lucky pitch at the batting cages, well, that’s just funny.
#2 – Cops on Bicycles
If I get sideswiped in my car by some texting teenager in an apartment parking lot, and I call 911, and after waiting for eons, some guy finally rolls in on a bicycle and starts asking for my side of the story… it’s going to be hard to take him seriously.
I mean, the bicycle is bad enough, but bicycle cops always seem to be wearing those little short shorts, and their gun holsters practically hang down further than the bottom of their short shorts do. It’s so silly, I believe I am entitled to giggle like crazy when the poor guy finally leaves again.
#3 – Teenagers Who Get their Comeuppance
We were all teenagers once. Can we agree on that before you jump me in some dark alley for thinking teenagers getting their comeuppance is funnier than a tube sock full of rice in the microwave?
And since we were all teenagers, that means we all know what it’s like to either be dumb and stupid know-it-alls, or to surround ourselves with dumb and stupid know-it-alls (except my older sister Tomi Ann. I’m pretty sure she was born a grown-up full of wisdom and maturity).
And when dumb and stupid know-it-alls have their dumbness and stupidity backfire on them, we should all be able to laugh. Like the time I was water ballooning cars as a teenager and we hit one guy’s car who got so mad he began chasing us on foot with the very real intention of killing us. One of us tripped and scraped up our leg pretty bad. We deserved it. And we deserved to be laughed at by adults when it happened.
#4 – Really Bad Hair Jobs
We all get bad hair jobs from time to time. We all make bad choices when it comes to our hair fashion. This is evident by how many women wear A-Frame haircuts who don’t have the face for it and men who wear barely any hair at all because they can’t see any difference between a $5 haircut and a $25 haircut.
It is okay to laugh at these people, but we must do so with caution. If it’s someone like me, I give you permission to laugh right to my face. Believe me. I know when I’ve had a bad haircut and I think it’s just as funny as you do. After all, we all get them from time to time. Other people are more sensitive and would prefer to pretend like it never happened and that no one will ever notice. Laugh at these people’s haircuts after they’ve gone. You’ll know them because they constantly ask everyone how their hair looks, and they fully expect to be lied to when they do.