I’ve been on and off (mostly off) Tinder for three or so years now. Here in Utah, it’s not the strictly-hookup app it is in some other places. The majority of people actually use it to find people to date or friends to hang out with, myself included.

Anyway, I live in a fairly conservative and religious state. Utah’s Tinder isn’t always all that exciting as weirdos and ridiculous and ridiculously awesome people go, but every once in a while, I come across someone’s account that gives me no choice but to pause and truly appreciate it. I always screenshot those accounts, and I scroll through my collection for a good laugh often. I’ve also never shared my collection with all of you.

Well, I’ve got a big folder full of my favorite Tinder screenshots now, so I might as well. These are the first 24 Tinder accounts I just had to capture while on (mostly off) Tinder the last three years.

Let’s start with this. I’m not sure just how weirded-out I should be that she’s got no photo, and only one interest on Facebook to go with it. GULP.

I have a feeling she might be into nasal.

This one is *very* attached to her children.

Somehow, she *is* fully clothed.

A little too thug life for my tastes.

This is Peggy. She’s 25.

In my memoir, I wrote about a girl I dated who had a bunch of cats and played an accordion. I honestly couldn’t believe two of them existed, but here’s the proof.

If y’az got it, flaunt it.

For a sincerely good time, call this chick.

I thought about it. I decided I don’t like chainsaw murderers.

OMG. Cuddle me so hard.

Sincere question. Is that a dog’s-head rug?

No, really. She just wants good conversation.

“What’s hotter than me? Two of me.”

She’s back. And thank goodness because she’s all about the f***ing manners.

This pose mixed with this caption just makes me so uncomfortable.

Looks like it might be a bit nippy out there.

There’s someone for everyone.

She doesn’t own this bikini. Yet.

Profiles don’t lie. She’s a conversationalist. I bet she’s good at slipping things into those conversations, too.

I was so happy when I ran into her again. Sadly she didn’t swipe right on me this time, either.

I honestly don’t know whether to admire her or fear her.

She just wants you to see her for her heart of gold.

This person just wins all of Tinder for me.

Those are a few of the ones I dare to share in a public forum. As always, I can count on my fellow single peeps to help keep things classy. Oh. And, hey! I want your favorite Tinder and dating website screenshots. Post them in the comments of this post!

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing