When Karma Made Me Pay $51 to My Kid For Trying to Dupe Him

I tried to dupe my kid on a silly little even-money bet we made.

I would fan in front of me all 52 cards from a standard deck of playing cards, so that only I could see which card was where.

Noah got to choose any card in the deck. He chose the 8 of diamonds.

The game was simple. If he could reach into the freshly-shuffled freshly-fanned deck of cards and pull out the exact card he chose, I would pay him $51. If he chose any other card, he would pay me $1 out of the weekly allowance I had just given him.

It was supposed to be an epic lesson in gambling. With even odds, it seemed, my bet was pretty safe. His dollar would soon be mine, and he would think gambling was a ridiculous waste of money.

Cue karma. Cue carma over a loud speaker…

I mean… I could have just fanned the cards and left it up to complete randomness. Instead, I thought I’d get all clever and try a mind trick on him.

My brother Eric (Noah’s uncle) was hanging out with us. “Eric, come on this side and watch,” I told him, wanting him to see my intellectual genius.

I located the 8 of diamonds in the deck.

I lifted the card to the left of it so that it stuck out higher than the rest of the cards.

I then lifted the card to the right of the 8 of diamonds so that it also stuck out. Surely, I thought, Noah will think one of these two cards is his card, thus assuring me 100% that I don’t lose this bet.

Noah very quickly fingered the top edge of one protruding card, then the other, and before I could even think the thought yes, it’s working! he instinctually reached down and yanked the 8 of diamonds right out from between the two.

Just like that, I was out $51.

Eric freaked out.

Noah freaked way out.

I freaked out, in a dramatic lamentational sort of way.

Then we all had the biggest laugh of our weeks.

“He beat me. Straight up. Pay him. Pay that man his money,” I said as I reached into my wallet and pulled-out what I owed him.

Yep. Karma got me. I tried to dupe my kid, and karma got me bad.

Talk about awesome parenting lessons gone completely wrong. I probably turned my kid into a gambling addict for life. After all, look how easy it was for him to beat such ridiculous odds. Ugh.

Dan Pearce | The Single Dad Laughing Blog

PS. Mad props to anyone who can tell me what movie the “He beat me. Straight up. Pay him. Pay that man his money” quote came from without looking at the video below first.

Of course, it’s one of the best movie scenes of all time, so if you don’t know the movie, you should definitely watch at least this scene (language warning)…